"Just Friends"

Flashback

*shawns POV*

*flashback*

"I'm sorry Carrie but I'm not letting you go to that party" I said putting my hands hips.

"Why?!" She asked.

"Because I don't want you getting hurt like last time!" I yelled.

"So!" She yelled back.

"I don't want it to happen again Carrie Lynn!" I screamed.

She was scared after that.

"Your not my boyfriend! I do what I want!" She yelled leaving.

I sighed and nodded. I just got my braces off and wanted to hang with my bestfriend but she insist on getting drunk with a bunch of raunchy guys. I grabbed my car keys and drove after her. When I got there music poured out of the house. I got out of the car and ran inside.

"Shawn!" My friend yelled.

"Hey dude, have you seen Carrie?" I asked.

"Your hot friend? Yeah she's over there" he said pointing to her while she drank a beer and talked to Brad.

I hated Brad. he has been trying to have sex with Carrie since 7th grade. I stomped over to her and grabbed her arm.

"We're going home" I yelled over the music.

She ripped from my grip and continued the conversation with Brad.

"Why don't we go upstairs and get away from this fucker" he said.

I chuckled, shook my head, and punched him square in the nose. He hit the floor and I threw Carrie on my shoulders and ran to my car.

"What do you think you're doing?!" she muttered.

I stood there with rage in my eyes watching her yell at me for saving her.

"You know what fine, sorry I ever became friends with you" I said walking to my car.

She stood there in disbelief. I loved Carrie but it was getting out of hand. Something was going through her head making her want to do this stuff. But I didn't know what. I sat in my car and stared at her. I drove home and sneaked a beer into my system. I didn't like it but, I needed to numb the pain. I was a little tipsy and just sat there thinking about what to do. Carrie came stumbling in soaking wet. I looked at her and she was about to burst into tears. I ran over to her and hugged her tight.

"I'm sorry" she cried.

"It's okay" I replied.

"Brad's a jerk, he tried to..." She said not finishing her sentence. "I'm sorry I didn't listen to you Shawn, I really am"

I nodded and hugged her again. Her brown wet hair stuck to me. I rested my chin on her head and sighed. She stared at me waiting for me to kiss her.

"I'm sorry too" I mumbled.

"For what? You tried to save me and I didn't listen" she asked.

"For this" I said.

I grabbed her a towel, laid her on my couch, and kissed her head. I tried so hard not to kiss her. I accomplished it, but it was killing me. she fell asleep and I smiled. I figured she'd be confused when she woke up. I didn't want to kiss her because I knew she would forget forever. I wanted her to remember. I sat on the chair, covered my face, and moaned falling back into the seat.

---

I woke up with a headache and Carrie still slept where I put her. I smiled and decided to make coffee for her. She tossed and turned because she was cold. I grabbed a blanket and put it on her. I chugged my coffee and ate my muffin from yesterday's batch while looking out the window. My parents weren't home because they were on some business trip. She woke up rubbing her head. I brought her a water and some medicine for her headache. I smiled and walked back over to the window.

"What happened last night?" she asked standing up.

"You have no idea" I chuckled.

"Obviously cause I don't remember a thing" she replied.

I smiled and watched the bird fly into the bird home I made when I was younger. She grabbed her jacket, kissed my cheek, and said her goodbye. I held my cheek when she left and chuckled.

"What am I doing? I don't have a chance" I mumbled to myself.

I sat on the couch, covered my face, and felt my lungs burn deep in my chest. When I turned on the music I felt like I couldn't hear because my body was full of warm tears that I couldn't let out. I sat on the couch and played around with my guitar. I tried to let out my sadness in a song but I couldn't spit out the words. I just sat there, blankly. I strummed Hallelujah for the second time. I stood up, ran to my camera, and whipped out the lyrics.

"Hey what's up guys its Shawn, I'm gonna play Hallelujah for the second time and I think I've improved really well since the first time. I liked to dedicate this song to my bestfriend Carrie" I said to the camera.

I smiled and began to play this song. It was super emotional and I almost didn't finish it. When I did finish it, I covered my face, and turned off the camera. Not saying goodbye was rude but I could barely sing. Carrie walked through door slowly and saw me sitting on the couch.

"Shawn are you okay?" she asked sitting next to me.

I nodded and looked at her. She grabbed her jacket and smiled. I stood up to walk her out. She smiled again and waited for something to happen. She kissed me on the cheek and drove away. I smiled and walked in. When I closed the door, I turned around and ran out to her. She got out of the car, ran over to me and hugged me. I love you, I love you, I love you is all I could think about. Just say it. But it wouldn't come out. Nothing would. What was with me for the past week. It wasn't the right time anyways. I sighed and she finally went home. What. Am. I. Doing? I haven't been myself lately. Carrie and I have been friends for 14 years and I've loved her since the 5th grade. And for some odd reason I knew what love was during that year because Carrie showed me. Could I ever repay her?