ZIAM ONE-SHOTS (BOTTOM LIAM)

Seasons Have Changed and so Have We 2

Z

He doesn't think of Liam when he fucks into the guy he can't remember the name of in the back of his Range Rover or the time he spread Michael one of his employee's out on his and Liam's bed and eats him out before sending him on his way with a small kiss on his lips. He doesn't but he cries the morning after in one of Liam's shirts as he watches their wedding videos and thinks over where everything went wrong and why he couldn't still be in love with this guy that gives him and supports him through everything.

He also doesn't think about calling Liam either just because he knows he'll break down, apologize for something he does not regret, they'll make up Liam will come home from wherever he is and their toxic relationship would continue. But fuck, he misses him so much, even though they're not the same people when they first fell in love and they can feel the once strong, passionate love between them fading away but its hard being away from each other – suffocating to be frank. It's even harder coming home to an empty place you once called home and not seeing your partner waiting for you; not being able to hold on to something familiar even if it's cold. But still, he's refusing to dial Liam's number and continue to lead him on when their relationship is heartbreakingly over.

Zayn gets sloshed one night, his brain hazy and his bloodstream is flowing with shots on shots of hard Whiskey, his words are jumbled and slurred when he calls Harry at two in the morning. They don't fight, not even a small bicker which is unusual, he asks him if he seen Liam or knows where he is at least – he needs to know that he's at least safe. Harry doesn't and a tiny rush of guilt invades his stomach. He ends up driving to the expensive pub where Zayn is and brings him home.

He sobs loud and drunkenly in the backseat of Harry's car and almost dials Liam's number then.

-

Ant forces Zayn out to get fresh air after watching him sulk for days upon days in his flat because he house doesn't smell of Liam anymore, instead it reeks of stale liquor and one night stands. He meets this bloke, tall, dorky; giggly with a boyish face that almost reminds him of high school Liam – but with skin like smooth dark chocolate and a head full of short locs that Zayn gets to tug on when the bloke is on his knees in the toilets. He has fun, loads actually and he doesn't think of how much he's going to regret this in the morning.

He gets a hi I'm at my parents house if ur wondering x love you text out of the blue when he's at work when he was so close of forgetting the way Liam's skin feels underneath his fingertips or the way his laugh sounds. He ignores the message and turns off his phone, he can't concentrate anymore his mouth drying for a cigarette or five. Zayn ends up smoking half the box of cigs he saves for absolute emergencies hidden deep in his desk.

Liam doesn't text back or tries to contact Zayn again and he's happy to extend.

Harry comes around; sad looking with bags underneath his eyes Zayn lets him in and offers a cup. They don't talk for hours until both of them sputters out genuine sorry-s in unison after sitting on the settee for so long, they burst out in a hearty guffaw, both boy's falling back on the couch as their heads lolls back. "Liam would've killed to see us make up like this." Zayn slips out as his voice trails off as soon as the words escape.

"Yeah he would." Harry agrees fiddling around with his ring on his finger, "just imagine though, Liam would bloody love this, yeah?"

Zayn swallows thickly, "yeah, a field day he'll have, I can feel the group hug he would have us in right now."

Harry smiles fades out as awkward silence falls around them again. He harrumphs before saying, "um, have you heard from Liam since he like. You know . . . left?"