ZIAM ONE-SHOTS (BOTTOM LIAM)

give yourself to the rush

Author: we_are_the_same

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/548177

Summary:

Liam has trouble getting an orgasm and Zayn does research and nearly loses his hair in the process.

Liam's always been a private person, so it's really no wonder that Zayn didn't realize something was off until now. He's more inhibited than the other boys are, doesn't curse as easily and blushes when Zayn whispers dirty things into his ear, but Zayn never considered the possibility that something could actually be wrong. And yet here Liam is, nose scrunched up in concentration, hands fisted in the sheets while Zayn fucks into him, his hips making these little twitching movements and it's good, it's great (it's Liam Payne that he's making love to, how can it be anything other than fucking mindblowing) but Liam doesn't look like he's lost in ecstasy, like he's on the verge of coming the way Zayn has been for the past couple of minutes - thrusts growing jerky and erratic, his fingers feeling clumsy and too big as he tries to keep up a rhythm on Liams length. He looks - pained, almost. Eyes shut tight as he moves his body with an almost single-minded determination, annoyance visible on his face before it's chased off by a frown. Zayn stills above him when he sees moisture clinging to Liams eyelids, his hand moving to Liams cheek. "Hey."

Liam scowls for a moment, tiny shake of his head meaning that he doesn't want to deal with this right now, but fuck if Zayn is going to have sex with his boyfriend while he's crying. "Hey" He says again, firmer this time, his other hand on Liams hip to keep him from thrusting up the way he wants to. He strokes quivering muscle until Liam gives in, lets a harsh sob escape his lips even when he angles his head so Zayn can't look at his face. "I'm sorry" He whispers, sounding dejected and frustrated and mad at himself, and Zayn feels like nothing he could possibly say would do the situation justice. So he strokes his hair and pulls out - ignoring the humiliated whimper that follows - discards the condom so he can cuddle up to Liam and wrap his arms around him. "It's okay" He says, with no clue as to what exactly is going on, only that it's quite clearly not okay, but Liam just sniffles and curls into him and Zayn kisses his hair and hums tonelessly until the taller boy relaxes and falls asleep.

When Zayn wakes up, he hears the shower running, and he's pressed against Liams back before the memory of last night catches up to him, making him freeze for a moment, which in turn makes Liam's breath hitch. Zayn silently curses his body for the response and presses an apologetic kiss to Liams shoulder, keeps his lips on his skin until the other stops feeling so rigid in his arms. "Morning" He says then, voice still sleep-rough and happy, and Liam hums something in response, fits his hand over where Zayn has his own laced together on his chest. Zayn smiles against his skin and nuzzles close, brushes his lips over the soft skin just underneath Liams ear, and Liam relaxes into it further, until Zayn is carrying half his weight and Zayn loves that, loves that Liam trusts him enough to take care of him. He shows his appreciation with a gentle bite to his shoulder, thoughts briefly straying to the time they've got left before they're due to meet the others for breakfast and whether it'll be worth it to actually start something, but the memory of last night makes something unpleasant churn in his stomach. He knows they've got to talk about this, but the last thing he wants is for Liam to feel bad over what happened, and with a busy day ahead of him he feels justified in taking the cowards way out and leaving the subject of their rather disastrous first time undiscussed.

Besides, they'll just try again, and it'll be no big deal.

That night they're fooling around, making out on Zayns bed that has recently been reclaimed as their bed, jeans undone and shirts rumpled up but still half-way decent, when Liam suddenly stops kissing back and turns his face away when Zayn leans in to connect their lips again. "What's wrong?" He asks, hand splayed over the younger boys heart while he uses the other to push himself up enough to look at his boyfriend, who refuses to answer. "Li?" He presses, tone gentle, and Liam flushes, squirms away from where Zayn had him pinned to the bed, and Zayn lets him, though he stops him from leaving the mattress completely. "Lia-" He starts again, but Liam turns to face him then. "Don't." He grits out, and the tone makes Zayn recoil from where he'd reached out to hold his arm. "I'm tired. Let's go to sleep, yeah?" It's been a long day but they both know that that's not really what's going on, and Zayn steels himself, ignores the way Liam is drawn in on himself. "Babe, come on" He urges, and this time Liam actually jerks away. "Leave it, Zayn. Damn it." He sounds agitated and hurt and angry, fists clenched against his sides as he paces around the room. "I don't want to talk about it, okay?" He spits out, Zayn idly wondering if Liam is really mad at him or if it's easier to allow his rage when he has something to project it on. He stays on the bed, hands curled into his lap as he looks up at his boyfriend, subconsciously trying to appear as harmless and accepting as he can, because whatever it is, whatever Liam's angry about, Zayn loves him and that won't go away. "Okay" He whispers, hands shifting to button up his jeans because he wants him to know that he's not putting any pressure on him, on this, but the sight draws a quiet hurt sound from Liam. "Okay?" He echoes, and it sounds kind of hysteric, and he steps close as though he wants to shake Zayn or possibly hit him, but instead he just stops and shivers, a full-body tremble. "Okay?" He repeats, tone softer now, but just as painful. "Just like that? Okay Liam we don't have to talk about the fact that you ruined our first time together? Don't have to discuss how there's something wrong with you if you can't even stay hard when you're having sex with the guy you've wanted for ages?"