"Caya, I don't know what to do anymore,"
Nakapangalumbaba ako, tamad na tiningnan ang pinsan. Our internship is fast approaching. And here I am, still confused.
I told Caya I had other plans. When the truth is, I really don't have any idea of what I should become in the future. That's why I don't have the answer.
Nakakatakot. Kasi dati, parang ang tagal ng future. Ewan ko. But here I am now, almost in the future I was dreading before. Clueless. No direction at all. I feel like the day moves so freakin' fast. Parang nagising ka tapos the next few hours matutulog ka ulit. Tapos the next day, its another day again.
Kung hindi ako didiretso sa proper med, ano ako? Sino ako?
Tumawa si Caya saka nakisiksik sa pang-isahan na couch na inuupuan ko. She giddily hugged me.
"Alam mo. Instead of overthinking, why don't you pause and take some time to rest? You know. Kasi I feel like you're pressured, that's why your mind is clouded."
"Your future is heavily in your mind lately? Because we're almost done with our pre-med?"
Tumango ako.
"I think... sa akin lang 'to ha." aniya. "I think you're not confused at all. You're just pressured. Because if you really are confused and not liking this profession, matagal ka na bumitaw."
Nilingon ko siya. She smiled before she continued her speech. "Let's be real. Kung talagang ayaw mo sa profession na 'to, it's so easy to let go. Tita and Tito will understand. You know how supportive they are of you. But you didn't, right?"
At nang hindi ako sumagot, tumawa siya. "Ah, basta. That's just based on my observation."
"It was your dream....to become a doctor. It's our dream, actually. And you know, I saw it myself. Your dedication to become one. Because I can see myself through you."
I smiled. "But you never once doubted who you want to be."
"Of course!" Natatawa niya saad. "Because if I will, I will fall really, really hard. And I know I will become a mess. Alam ko. Antaas ng goal ko, e."
"You're brave, 'cay."
"And so you are." she said. "Just...trust yourself."
It was one of those days that we had decent conversations. Most of the time, we talked about school stuff, chismis and boys. I am so glad to have her. And Caya is one of those people, who I can easily talk to, when it comes to serious things like this.
Everyone has a different set of friends. That's an honest observation. There are friends we have when we want to have fun. When all we want is to forget about pain and the world. Friends we have in school or acad related stuff. Friends we barely talk to, but still there when you beep 'em up. Friends who are there for you, even one in the morning, just to talk about life. Deep conversations. Talking about your goals, flaws, shortcomings, mental health without judgement. And of course, we all have an all around friend. As for me, it's Caya.
That's why, when people ask me, who is my closest friend or my best friend, I don't have the exact answer. Maybe if you would ask who's the most plastic and user friend, maybe that, I can give you a hint. Okay, just kidding.
"Hi 'cay! Hi Kia. Did you see Storm?" Ate asked us
"Kelan ka nakabalik 'te?"
Ang alam ko kasi, pumunta sila ni kuya sa New York. It was related to ate's modelling.
"Last night. Anyway, where's the monkey? May favor kasi siya." Ate said
"No idea, ate. He's been busy these past few days."
YOU ARE READING
Fallen game
Teen FictionDela ferrer Series #2 Kianna Laureen Dela Ferrer. Born with a silver spoon, she opted to get everything that she wants. Anything. She's the type of woman who thinks love is a joke. Just a game.. for fun. But everything changed the night she met hi...
