It Was His (SELF-PUBLISHED)

Chapter 29

"Nathalie naman oh...kain ka na please? Hahayaan mo nalang ba ang sarili mong ganito? You've come this far okay?"

Halos lahat ng tao sa bahay ay nandito ngayon sa sala at nakapalibot sa 'kin maliban sa kambal. I don't want them to see their own mom suffering. That's the least I can do to them so I instructed Shein to look for them and do everything to entertain the twins in our room.

Si Adam naman ay nasa hospital ngayon dahil sa dami niyang sugat at dugong nawala dahil sa ginawa ng kapatid niya. Kuya brought him in the hospital a while ago when he fainted. I don't even have the strength to look back at him.

I can only offer him my sympathy for now and I pray that he'll get better soon. After all...he've been good to my children.

"Anak?" Mom patted my back and tried to comfort me. I give her a look with my swollen eyes and leaned my head on her shoulder. She gave me a hug from beside and cried again silently.

I don't feel ashame while letting out all the pain I kept for a long time. Couple of  eyes are watching at me but I disregard them. Ayoko ng isipin ngayon ang iisipin ng iba. If they'll judge me, then be it. Hindi na ako maa-apektuhan pa.

Kailangan ko nalang ilabas lahat dahil kapag may tinira pa ako ay hindi ko na magagawa pang mahalin naman ang sarili ko. I thought I was strong enough to face this but I was wrong. The person who promised to be with me in facing the battles, left me again. He has always been my kryptonite...

"Eto, tubig." I saw Dad offering me a glass of water on my peripheral vision. Mom was the one who broke the hug as I she get the glass and handed it to me.

Agad ko itong ininom nang diretso dahil sa sobrang uhaw. Hindi ko alam kung nakailang baso ng tubig na ako ngayon. These tears really made me dehydrated.

Missy stood up from my side and gave a space for my dad as he sat beside me. It feels so good between my parents as they stay this darkest times of mine. As soon as I smiled faintly at them, they immediately hugged me and told me soothing words to ease the pain I'm feeling.

"Everything will be alright, okay? Pangako ko sa 'yong kapag nakita ko ulit 'yang Adam na 'yan, ako na mismo bubugbog sa kanya hanggang sa humiram na siya ng mukha sa ahas," biro ni dad.

I chuckled and the laughs of people around us made my heart stand up with confidence. Suddenly, I came up with my senses. Tinignan ko sila  isa-isa...Sina Missy, si kuya na kakarating lang at nakangiti lang ng pilit nang dumako ang tingin ko sa kanya at ang mga kasamahan namin sa bahay na naging bahagi na rin ng pamilya namin...

How lucky I am to have them. I have my complete family yet, I'm destroying myself just because of one person?

"I know Apollo will eventually sober himself up so, stop blaming yourself from all of these chaos, understand?"

"Yes, mom. Thank you."

Dahil pakiramdam ko ay sobra ko na silang naaabala, sinunod ko na ang lahat ng gusto nila para naman makabawi. I need to grow by myself and live with maturity this time. I'm not the same child Nathalie before and besides, I'm now a mother so I need to atleast depend on myself in getting fine.

Sinamahan ako ni Missy na kumain dahil balik na naman sa trabaho ang iba at sina dad naman ay pinuntahan ang kambal. Mahaba-habang kwento na naman ang ibibigay ko sa kanila. Alam kong magtatampo sila dahil tinago ko sila sa sarili nilang ama ang tungkol sa kanila. At habang bata pa sila, kailangan ko nang maitama lahat ng pagkakamali ko dahil ayaw kong dumating sa puntong, ako naman ang tatalikuran nila.

Mas lalong hindi ko kakayanin 'yon. Because they're my own flesh and blood.

"Don't you have errands today? I caused you lots of trouble and I apologize for that."

She placed her hand on my head and ruffled my hair. "I'm your bestfriend, okay? And you're more important than anything else. I want to make it up to you for the years that I haven't been on your side."

Bakit ba ang swerte ko?

Gusto ko tuloy sapakin 'yong sarili ko dahil ang daming oras at taon ang sinayang ko para lang lumayo sa kanila tapos pagbalik ko ay parang naging okay lang ang lahat. Kung pinili ko bang makinig at maniwala sa kanila noon ni Apollo ay hindi ba ganito kahirap at kasakit ang pinagdadaanan namin ngayon?

"Tsaka ang dami mo pang iku-kwento sa 'kin. Hindi mo man lang ako ginawang ninang ng kambal mo." She pouted her lips that made me laugh a bit.

"Ayan, tumawa ka naman kahit plastic lang. Mas lalo lang ka kaseng pumapangit kapag nakasimangot ka." Sa sinabi niyang 'yon ay malakas na pisil ang binigay ko sa braso niya at napa-aray naman ang babaitang 'to.

Nai-imagine ko tuloy na kung nandito rin si Jessie ay sesermonan na naman ako at baka mag-aagawan pa sila ni Missy para pagaanin ang loob ko. Gano'n kase sila noon eh. Away-bati.

"Hindi pa naman sila binyag and I guess it's not yet too late. Kapag maayos na lahat ay saka pa 'yon mangyayari."

"Really?!" I nodded and she smiled widely.

Naalala ko na naman ang tungkol sa kanila ni Finn. Hindi ko pa rin lubos mawari kung paanong naging sila. Naiisip ko nga na baka prank lang lahat.

But there will also be the right time for me to know that...

____

Lumipas ang ilang linggo ay wala pa rin akong naging balita kay Apollo. Pati sina kuya at Missy ay wala ring alam. Kung saan-saan na rin namin siya hinanap ngunit lagi kaming nabibigo.

"Mommy...when will I see daddy again?" Binuhat ko si Noah at pinaupo sa lap ko habang nanood kami ng detective movie sa kwarto. Si Adnah naman ay parang professional lang na nakatitig sa TV at kumakain ng popcorn. Hinaplos ko ang buhok nito pero hindi ko pa rin nagagawang kunin ang atensyon.

Ako nga rin ang lubos na naguguluhan kung bakit ito ang hilig nilang panoorin. I even suggested them to watch a comedy movie if they are already bored watching cartoons.

"Soon, baby and do you really want to meet him?" I asked him and pinched his soft cheeks. Hindi naman siya nagreklamo kaya inulit ko pa.

"Because he's my dad." He traced his tiny fingers on my nose down to my lips as he giggled.

Sa pagbanggit niya ng salitang 'Dad' ay mas lalong gusto ko na tuloy siyang makita.

"Natwali...your phone is ringing," saad ni Adnah na ngayon lang nagsalit.

Agad ko namang kinuha ang phone ko na nasa ibabaw ng table at nakitang si Missy ang tumatawag.

"Hello?"

"Nathalie! We already found Apollo."

Nagsimula na akong kabahan sa tono pa lang ng pananalita niya. May kakaiba kase eh. Parang imbes na masaya siya dahil nahanap na si Apollo ay parang kabaliktaran?

And my doubts answered me as she continued speaking.



"He's in the hospital right now. He got into a car accident..."