You Never Asked (Completed)

Sids Guilt, Sana's Fear & Zoro's Turmoil.

       Maa hugged Sana and took her inside. She introduced Sana to Sid's sisters and nieces. Zoro came running and hugged his mom. He said something to his mom and all of them laughed. Sid could not hear anything. It was as if some music was playing in the background making him float in the air. This is love. He loves this woman. Yes he loves his Sana. Actually he had never stopped loving her. His heart told him and he nodded. He will convince her to marry him. He will beg if necessary, and she will be his and only his. He will want to see her walk in this manner everyday in and through his house and he will make that happen. All the hurt, pain and heartbreak they have gone through, he will see to it that they won't bear to witness it ever again. He will bring happiness and only happiness in her's and his child's life.
      Sid sat on the couch near the terrace. He was watching her smiling lovingly at his niece. He wants her to be a part of his family. But will she?? His practical brain woke up from it's sleep and asked. He had wronged her. Then why will she trust you?? His brain was right,  he thought. He was ashamed of himself. He has no courage to look in her eyes. He feels so guilty. But  will he not make everything right this time?? His heart asked staring at his brain. Yes of course. He promised his heart. But will she forgive me?? She has refused to marry me?? He told his heart. And why should she not?? He had ran away as soon as someone has said something. He had not trusted her. Just left. He had not enquired about her for six years. She was right. How did he think she cannot get pregnant?? They had made love in Adi's flat without protection and had decided to solve the matter together, if something happens. But he was not there to solve it. It was as if he had  ran away as soon as he got an excuse to do so. It was as if he had enjoyed himself, took everything from her and left without a backward glance. She had done it all alone. She had bear and bought a child in this world all by herself. Without his help. How can he even look her in the eye and demand she marry her, when he had made such a big blunder??
      All the ladies were sitting chatting in the Hall. Sid was sitting in that far corner lost in thoughts. He was avoiding looking at her. Was he not happy to see her?? Sana felt disappointed. But she could not refuse Maa. And she too wanted to come. Feel the happiness of being the small part of this beautiful family.
       Sid would steal glances at her, whenever he knew she was not looking his way. I want her to be mine. His heart would plead whenever he looked at her. And then a thought struck him. His practical brain again. Are you worthy of her?? Does she deserves you?? After putting her to so much of misery, do you think she should forgive you?? And even if she forgives and forget, should she have a man as unreliable as you?? This thought hit him hard. It shook him to the core. His hands and legs trembled. It was as if someone has put a bucket of iced water on him. His body shivered.
Maa: Baccho chalo dinner lag gaya hai.
       They all got up. But Sid seems far away. He was not able to move.
Maa: Siddharth kaha khoya hai beta??
    He did not hear Maa and all looked at him worriedly. Maa moved forward and shook him by his shoulder.
Sid; Haaa.....
Maa: Kya hua beta?? Tu thek hai??
Sid: Kuch nhi Maa. Mai thek hu.
Maa: Maine kaha, dinner lag gaya hai.
Sid: Ha ha chalo chalo...... Chalo Zoro.
   He stood up and walked to Zoro.
Zoro: Papa aap mujhe utha lo.
      Sid knew he will have to take a grip on his thought for now. All his loved one's who love him unconditionally are here around him. He will have to behave normal. And so he gave a broad smile to his son.
Sid: As you wish meri jaan.
      He picked Zoro up in his arms and they walked to the table. He made Zoro sit next to him. Sana sat next to Sid's sister, Preeti. The food was delicious.
Preeti: Sana, Zoro bahot pyara baccha hai. Kitna samajhdaar hai. Shayad tum pe gaya hai.
       Hearing that they all started laughing. Sana looked at Sid. He looked at her and then looked away. He narrowed his eyes at his sister and nodded his head.
Preeti: Maa, ab shayad Sid samajhdaar ban na seekh jaaye.
Maa: Bas karo tum sab. Mana mera beta zyada samajhdaar nhi hai.... Par accha hai.
      They all laughed again. Sana looked at Sid. Why does he not look at me?? She felt dejected. Does he not wish to marry me now?? How will I live with his rejection..... I love him so much.
         It was ten thirty. Talking to Maa and Sid's sisters was too much fun. Sid was again sitting in the far corner with Zoro in his lap. It's seems Zoro has dozed off in his dad's strong arms. It was so beautiful to see them like this.
Sana: Maa late ho raha hai. Mai chalti hu.
      Sana removed her mobile to call a cab.
Maa: Kya kar rahi hai??
Sana: Maa aaj gaadi nhi hai. Cab bula rahi hu...
Maa: Beta Siddharth chod aayega. Ghar me itni gadi ho kar tu cab kaisi bula sakti hai??
Sana: Maa vo....
       She looked at Sid and saw anger on his face. He did not look her way. But Sana realised he is angry because she was calling a cab.
Maa: Siddharth Sana ko ghar chod aa.
     He picked his son in his arms and rested Zoro's head on his shoulder.
Sid: Chal.
         Saying that he walked to the door. Sana said her goodbyes to everyone and walked behind him. He went to the car and opened the door for her with one hand.
Sana: Zoro ko mere paas de.
Sid: Tu bait pehle.
      Sana sat in the passenger seat in the front and Sid bend down to lay Zoro and Sana's lap. His hands touched her thighs and he looked up. Their eyes met, face inches away from each other. Sana could feel his breath on her face. She closed her eyes taking in his fragrance. Sana felt Sid jerk away from her and opened her eyes to see him closing the door. He walked away and came and sat next to her in the driver's seat. They drove in silence. Sid parked the car in the parking lot of Sana's building. Both of them not moving.
Sid: Next time se mere hote hue tu aur Zoro cab se nhi jaayenge. Tujhe kya laga mai tum dono ko chodne bhi nhi aata??
Sana: Sorry...
Sid: Pata nhi kya chal raha hai..... Tu ekdm se....
Sana: I'm sorry. Mujhe tere ghar tujhe inform kiye bagair nhi aana chahiye tha.
Sid: Kya??
Sana: Tujhe mera aana accha nhi laga...
Sid: Yeh tujhe kisne kaha??
Sana: Teri shakal ne.
       Sid gave a laugh.
Sid: Tujhe lagta hai tera aana mujhe pasand nhi aaya??
Sana: Nazar to aise he aaya.
Sid: Tu kuch nhi jaanti Jaana. Tu kuch nhi jaanti. Puri shaam mai yeh soochta raha....
        He was about to say" Ke kya mai tere laayak hu??" When Zoro whined in his sleep, getting disturbed by his parents talks. They both looked at him. Sid let a heavy breath, came out of the car, opened the passenger door, took Zoro in his arms and walked to the lift. He entered Sana's house carrying the kid. Sana led him to Zoro's room. She switch on the night lamp and Sid walked to the bed. He lay Zoro on the bed and was about to turn, when Zoro held Sid's hand. He half opened his eyes.
Zoro: Papa aap mere sath so jaau na aaj...
       Sid looked at Sana. Their eyes met. Sana gave a nod. Zoro held his dad's hand tight. Sid signed and climbed in the bed. Zoro hugged him and fell asleep. Sana turned and walked out, closing the door behind them. Sid removed his mobile, messaged Maa and then lay properly on the bed. His son snuggled into him and he got emotional. He had missed all this just because of his own foolishness. He will never be able to bring back the moments and love his son has missed all these years. It looked like Zoro has carved for his dad. Sid had only regrets left now. He thought closing his eyes. He fell into a disturbed sleep.
        Sid woke up at six in the morning to find Zoro not besides him. He got up worried and came in the hall to not find him there too. The house was silent, which means no one was awake. Getting worried he thought of waking Sana up. He went to her room. The door was open. He went through the door and stopped. There lay Zoro in his moms arms, encircling his arms around her. The sight was mesmerizing. They looked so amazing together. So bonded. Like one team. And he an outsider. A pang of jealousy hit him hard. This is also what he has lost, when he left her six years back. All his fault. He felt depressed. And then suddenly Sana opened her eyes and theirs locked across the room. Sid looked away, turned and left out of the room. He should leave, he thought. He walked to the main door and was about to open it and was stopped by Sana's voice.
Sana: Siddharth...
Sid: Mai chalta hu.
Sana: Breakfast karke jaata...
Sid: Nahi mujhe jaana hai.
Sana: Zoro puchega....
Sid: Mai call karke baat kar lunga.
      He opened the door and left, closing the door behind him. Sana sat on the sofa, rubbing her hand on her face and her hair. What had just happened?? Why was there so much of pain in his eyes?? Is there ever going to be everything normal in their life?? They both know they love each other. Then why so much of pain?? So much of agony??
      Sana got up and walked to the bathroom. They will be leaving tomorrow. Zoro will be staying with his dadima this time. His cousins will also be coming to give him company. Sana was happy that they all had accepted Zoro with open arms. Zoro was bonding well with his elder sisters and they were enjoying a younger brother in the family. Sana was sitting in the balcony sipping her morning tea, when Zoro came and climbed on Sana's lap. She hugged him and kissed his head.
Sana: Aap subah me mama ke paas kyu aaye??
Zoro: Aise he.
Sana: Aise he?? Ya aapko laga mama akeli hai isliye.
       Zoro did not answer. Sana was not liking this. Her five year kid is in a turmoil.
Zoro: Papa chale gaye??
Sana: Ha. Bola hai aapko call karenge.
Zoro: Hmmm
Sana: Baby aapko papa chahiye the. Ab aapko papa mil gayi. Fir bhi aap sad kyu ho??
Zoro: Kyuki mujhe aap dono chahiye. Mujhe sirf ek ko select karna accha nhi lagta. Kya aap ka aur papa ka zhagda ho gaya hai??
Sana: Nahi to... Aapko kisne bola??
Zoro: Aap dono ek dusre se baat nhi karte. Aur kal raat aap dono lad rahe the na??
Sana: Nahi baby hum lad nhi rahe the. Aur agar Mama papa ladte hai to vo to aise normal hai. Jaise aap aur bunny ladte ho, par fir bhi vo aapka best friend hai na??
     Zoro nodded.
Sana: Jay mama aur maasi bhi to ladte hai...
Zoro: Ha maasi mama ko datt deti hai, aur mamu sweetu sweetu karte hai.
Sana: Awww. Badmash. Ruko batati hu mai maasi ko.
Zoro: Nahi mama. Yeh mera aur Rajbir ka secret hai. Aap kisiko nhi bata sakte.
     Sana chuckled
Sana: Ok nahi bataungi. Ab aap jaakar naha lo. Fir papa ko call kar lena.
Zoro: Ok.
      Sana realised this is very new for Zoro, suddenly having a father, and so much of love from so many people. He is excited about it, but he doesn't want to forget his mama in the process of enjoying the new relations. Sana felt it is too much of a burden on his tiny delicate shoulders. She will have to take the decision fast. But how can she, when the person whom she is to marry is not looking in her eyes for more than few seconds??
      Zoro has spoken to his dad after he had, had his breakfast.
Zoro: I'm sorry papa.
Sid: Sorry?? Sorry kyu bol rahe ho meri jaan??
Zoro: Vo mai subah aapke paas se chala gaya....
Sid: Zoro?? Beta aap to puri raat mere sath the na?? To kya hua aap morning me mama ke paas gaye to??
Zoro: To aapko bura nhi laga??
Sid: Nahi bilkul nhi. Aap yeh sab mat socho beta. Mama papa aise aapki yeh baat par bilkul bhi bura nhi maanenge. Yeh aap apne dimag se nikal do.
Zoro: Ok. Aapne breakfast kiya??
Sid: Ha kiya. Aapne kiya??
Zoro: Jee.
Sid: Shaam me ice cream khaane chale??
Zoro: Ice cream??
Sid: Haa??
Zoro: Ok. Thank you papa.
Sid: Zoro... Papa ne kaha hai na ke aap papa ko thank you nhi bologe??
Zoro: Sorry... Bhul gaya tha.
     He giggled and Sid felt happy.
Sid: Chalo bye. Sham me milte hai.
Zoro: Bye.
       Sid disconnected the call. He will have to talk about this to Sana. Zoro feeling guilty about choosing one of the parent is not good. Sid realised. He came in the evening and took Zoro for his ice cream treat. Zoro and Sid came back with loads of bags in their hands. Sid had bought clothes, shoes, story book and lots and lots of games for Zoro. Sana was taken aback, but did not say anything as Zoro and Sid were both very happy. Sid left promising to pick Zoro up the next afternoon as they were to leave for their trip at night. Sana called Mahi feeling a bit uneasy.
Sana: Di par itna kuch?? Yeh sab cheezo ki to usko zarurat bhi nhi the.
Mahi: Sana. Vo panch saal me jo na kar saka, ab ek sath karne ki koshish kar raha hai...
Sana: Par di....
Mahi: Baby, mai jaanti hu, tujhe lag raha hai ke Zoro isse cheezo ki ehmiyat na kho de. Par tu Siddharth ke nazariye se bhi sooch. Usse samaj nhi aa raha hai ke mai kya karo. To, jo cheez uske bete ko khush kar rahi hai, vo sab usse dilane ki koshish kar raha hai. Karne de usse. Rook mat. Aur rahi baat Zoro ki to usse bhi thoda pampered feel karne de. Kuch nhi hota. Relax kar tu.
Sana: Thek hai di.
       Sana had reached the airport at 6:30 pm. They were to board a flight at 8:20 pm to Guwahati. Sid with Arun too reached on time. Sid saw her with other team sitting in the lobby. Arun came towards them, whereas Sid sat on a seat in the other row. He removed his mobile and got busy in it. They all were waiting for the announcement. Sana felt so dejected. He can at least be polite. He could at least have said hello. Why is he behaving as if he doesn't know her?? They boarded the flight. Sid sat in his seat and closed his eyes dismissing everyone around him. They reached Guwahati at 11:30 at night and checked in at Novotel. They were to board a flight to Pasighat at eleven the next morning.
      Sana was in her room, when she got a call from the reception. There was an issue with some room. She went down and solved the problem. As she was climbing up, she saw Arun coming down.
Sana: Arun kaha jaa rahe ho??
Arun: Vo boss ko sar me dard hai, unke liye medicine dekh raha hu, yaha reception ke paas. Mil jaayegi vaha se. Mujhe pata hai vo khud nhi mangva ke medicine lenge.
Sana: Acchanak dard kyu?? Aur apna bhi to first aid kit hai. Usme se le lo.
Arun: Check kiya usme nhi hai.
Sana: Yeh logo ko kitni baar bola hai har cheez check kar lo. Par koi dhyaan he nhi deta.
Arun: Mai dekhta hu reception me.
       She walked to Sid's room and knocked. Sid opened
Sana: Kya hua tujhe??
     Sid looked away.
Sid: Kuch nhi sar me dard hai. Pure hotel me announcement hue hai kya?? Arun ko har baat har jagah bolni hoti hai.
      Sana felt hurt and took a step back.
Sana: I'm sorry jo tujhe disturb kiya. Next time nhi karungi.
      Saying that she turned and left and Sid wanted to kick himself for being such an ass. Why was he behaving in this manner?? His heart demanded. I don't want to answer that. He told his heart. You very well know.