Not just a fan..

Was it a lie ?

Nirvana POV
He kissed my neck as my legs stiffened. I let out a loud groan and he laid on top of me breathless.

He rolled off of me without a word and turned over to face the wall.

I sat feeling empty and alone. I was tired and unfeeling right this second. Not just in my legs, but in my heart I was numb.

Does he love me? Truly love me?

I closed my eyes with a pain in my chest and fell asleep hesitantly, not touching him at all.

***

I quickly sat up feeling like I couldn't breathe. My chest felt tight and it was dark.

Sammy was asleep next to me and It was 5 AM.

I climbed out of bed and slid on Sammy's sweats and a sweater, going out to look for Kar. She was sitting on the balcony by herself.

I slid into the spot next to her against the wall and laid my head on her shoulder. "How did things go with Nate tonight?"

"I told him I wanted to take it slow. I really want this to work Nirvana." She whispered truth laced in every word. "Itll be okay Karlee. He really likes you."

"He said he loves me." She smiled awkwardly leaning her head against mine. I giggled and felt a stab of disappointment and embarrassment for myself.

"I dont think Sammy loves me like he says he does." I mumbled as I thought about earlier and my throat tightened. "Its really early and I dont think i should love him like this yet and I'm sure he doesn't love me like this. I think I'm just immature."

I was gasping for air by time Karlee was done explaining that I needed to be careful. "I screwed up so bad. I've only known him for a few weeks and i already gave him my virginity. Does that make me a slut? A whore? Easy?" I breathed, panicking.

She shook her head no and pulled me into a hug. "Im so stupid! Why would I do this? Fuck." I mumbled letting the tears I was holding in finally fall.

She squeezed me tighter and let me cry until I was cried out and exhausted.

We went inside and settled on the couch and watched random movies on TV before we fell asleep cuddled under a big blanket.