The Troubleshooter

13- Nico's Ma

A/N trigger warning- drug abuse. I don't usually do trigger warnings but I know this is a delicate subject for some.

Nico POV- Age 16

My flight touches down at Marco Polo and I give Ben a shove to wake him.

I don't know what state Ma is in, but I know if I'm offered to invite a friend along for summer break by aunt Penny then it's bad.

I know aunt penny means well, but I've come to dread the "why don't you invite a friend along" phone call.

They say addiction is a disease, but it's hard for me to see it that way. All I can see is my Ma choosing the drugs over me.

Why aren't I enough for her? Why can't she stop for me?

I liked to remember my Ma as the beautiful vibrant woman she was when I was small. Her wide smile that made her eyes go squinty, her permed sunshine hair framing her face like a halo.

But that image was destroyed for me a few months ago. Aunt Penny had me pulled out of school one week to visit Ma at the hospital. They wanted me to say my goodbyes.

Ma lay in the hospital bed shivering, if they hadn't told me it was her I wouldn't have known, she looked skeletal, her pockmarked skin stretched tight across her bones. The pearly white smile was no more, replaced by brown stubs, her hair was matted and white now.

I froze, I didn't know this woman before me, how could I say goodbye to her? Somehow what was worse was the sympathy in aunt Penny's eyes.

Aunt Penny had known Ma since college, and it was her that had stepped up. Her that had taken me in every Christmas and summer break for the last few years. Never making me feel like the burden that I knew I was. She doted on Marc, Matt and Lili but she still had enough love to share for me.

But this woman on the bed. My actual, biological Mother. She chose drugs over me.

I know it started with pills, the first summer I stayed with the Canossa's came after I had found my Ma unconscious the empty pill bottles beside her.

I don't know what she uses now. I don't want to know.

She pulled through the scare that time, but I promised myself that if she kept choosing that life I wouldn't be dragged along for the ride anymore.

Leaving the airport we see Marco & Matt waiting for us at arrivals.

"I'm driving" Marco announces, "mess up my car and you'll be walking to the villa" he threatens eyeing Ben's bottle of Coke and making Matt roll his eyes.

"His car is his baby" Matt scoffs, slapping me and Ben on the back in greeting, before calling shotgun.

"How's your Pa?" I ask.

"He's good, surgery went well and there's no signs that it spread. We were lucky" Marco explains. "How's… how's your Ma?"

"Well Ben is here" I reply. Marco catches my eye in the rear view, a look of understanding on his face.

"Look I get it dude, it sucks when your parent is sick…" Matt starts.

"Don't" I interrupt, "You don't 'get it', your Pa getting cancer is totally different. My Ma made a choice. She chose drugs over me" I say with finality. I know he means well, but it's just not the same. Not to me. I was done with this subject.

When we arrive at the villa Lili runs out to greet us in some leggings and a sports bra.

"Damn! Puberty hit Lili like a truck" Ben says quietly so her brother's won't hear him.

"She's fourteen!" I warn him. Ben is already seventeen and I will be as well in a few days, it doesn't matter how Lili looks. She's a kid, and she's my best friend's sister.

It's hard to argue beyond that. Lili definitely grew up this past year. I have to keep reminding myself she's still that little kid with the snotty nose, I carried after she fell out of the tree.

"Put some fucking clothes on Lili" Marco shouts.

"Stop trying to regulate my body you sexist prick" she snaps back.

"She's on some feminism trip at the minute, it's hilarious watching her and Marco fight just don't get caught in the middle of it" Matt warns us helping us with our bags.

"Nico!" Lili calls moving forward to greet me with a hug.

"I guess I'm invisible" Ben mutters.

"You're not invisible, if anything you've filled out." Lili giggles.

"That's one way of saying I got fat," he huff's.

Lili ignores his comment turning back to me.

"Ma is in the study, she wants you to go see her" we both know what it will be about, I hate the sympathetic look on Lili's face, so I immediately turn away heading into the house.

I take a steadying breath before I knock on the study door.

"Nico!" Aunt Penny beams in greeting, wrapping me into her warm motherly embrace. "You're just in time, I was about to visit the hospital. I thought you might like a ride?" She offers.

"No thanks Aunt Penny. I won't be going" I reject her immediately.

"But Nico, your Mama is…"

"I know what she is, aunt Penny. I can't keep seeing her like that, the woman in that hospital, that isn't my Ma"

"And I can't convince you?" She asks, I shake my head. Aunt Penny giving a nod in defeat.

After a brief catch up I dump my bags in what used to be a guest room but over the years has become my own. Then go to find the others.

I find everyone relaxing on the terrace. Aunt Penny must have left for the hospital already.

Marco is deep in conversation with his Pa, I know he's learning the family business so I leave them to it joining Matt and Ben at a table nearby.

"So what are you thinking for your birthday?" Matt asks immediately. 

"I haven't really thought about it, maybe we could BBQ?" I suggest, launching us into a conversation that lasts until dinner.

As always in the Canossa house dinner is a lively affair of good conversation, great food and strong wine. It's hardly noticed when Mr Canossa leaves the room to take a call.

Minutes later he reappears in the doorway beckoning me to follow him. I follow him to the office and take the offered seat a large glass of amber liquid thrust into my hand.

"Nico, son" he says somberly. "Your Ma…"

  "I don't want to talk about Ma" I start to interrupt. But Mr Canossa waves a hand cutting me off.

"Your Ma, she had a seizure. Nico, I'm sorry. But, she didn't make it"