Our Beating Hearts

9

HOURS LATER, I'M IN LUKE'S backseat, driving to Simon Cowell's house, of all places.

"Who let him host this?" I ask. I can't help but growl a little when I talk about Simon. Calum, sitting next to me, shrugs and shakes his head.

"I don't know," says Sierra. "He offered."

"We should have had our own party," Calum says.

"Can we just suck it up? Please? It's the last cast party." Sierra's voice skids on the word last. She's never been good at endings.

"You okay?" Luke asks softly.

Sierra pauses. "Yeah."

The light turns green, and Luke makes a left. Simon lives at the end of a cul-de-sac in one of those leafy neighborhoods off Creekside Drive. I've only been there once. It was freshman year for a history project. Me, Simon, and Crystal. And we chose one another, too. What a joke.

No one talks for the rest of the ride. Luke fiddles with the music, and Calum stares out the window, lips tightly pursed. I can't remember the last time I've seen him look so upset. And I know he hates Simon, but I can't help but wonder if it's more than that. Maybe Crystal or Brandy said something to him. But now that I think about it, she hasn't been around since the beginning of the play.

Simon's whole street is lined with cars, and it's almost dark when we get there. We pull in behind Liam's minivan, which is parked but still running. He drove here with Harry, Louis, Zayn, Brandy, and Niall-they turn off the car and step out when they see us. And wow. It's ridiculously cold out, especially in a cotton romper and a cardigan. I'll just say my out-of-this-world thighs are extra out of this world tonight.

We end up walking in twosomes. Harry and Louis, Calum and Luke, Michael and me, Niall and Zayn, Liam and Brandy. It's weird that Calum and Brandy aren't walking together. I lean toward Zayn, close enough that our arms touch. "Hey, is something up with Calum and Brandy?"

Zayn grimaces and shrugs. "Yeah. I don't know. I talked to Calum for a minute earlier. I think they're fighting."

"About what?"

"Well, Brandy got into Tufts yesterday."

"Oh, wow."

"I know, she's psyched," Zayn says, "but then I guess she and Calum had the talk."

"The talk?"

"The are-we-doing-long-distance-or-what talk."

"Oh." Something tugs in my chest. "Okay."

"Yeah. It didn't go well."

I glance up at Calum, paces ahead of me, bundled in a Green Day hoodie. He's walking so close to Luke, you'd think they were conjoined.

"Okay, so translate that," I say quickly.

"Translate what?"

"Didn't go well. What does that mean?"

Zayn frowns. "I don't know. Brandy wants to stay together, but Calum doesn't want to do long distance."

"Oh shit."

"Yeah."

We walk in silence for a minute, almost at Simon's house. There's music coming from the basement-the soundtrack to Joseph. A little too on the nose for the Joseph cast party, in my opinion, but what do I know?

"I'm scared they'll break up," Zayn says finally, his voice barely audible. "I think it could ruin us."

"You and Niall?"

"No. God. No. We're good." Zayn smiles. "No, I mean us." He waves his hands around vaguely. "Our group. Our posse."

I snort. "Our posse."