Our Beating Hearts

33

I HEAD STRAIGHT FOR MICHAEL as soon as the song ends. By then, he's found a table with Luke, and they've both draped their tux jackets over their chairs.

"Did Calum leave?" I ask, settling in beside Luke.

Michael nods, leaning forward. "Yeah, right in the middle of the dance. He said he wanted to be alone."

"Really?"

"Okay, that's weird, right? I mean, it's weird for Calum?"

"Is he upset?"

"I don't know." Mikey looks slightly distraught. "I guess so. I mean, I wouldn't blame him."

"God." I close my eyes. "Yeah."

Luke bites his lip and nods.

"I should have gone with him," Luke says, rubbing his forehead. "Ugh. Now he probably thinks he's kicked out of our squad. Like, we're going to replace him with Gigi."

"Okay, there's no way he thinks that," Michael says.

"Maybe I'll text him," I say, and I promptly start blushing. Way to be mega obvious, Ashton. I might as well whip out my heart and set it on the table for the boys to examine.

But Michael just nods eagerly. "Yeah, that's a good idea."

And it is. It's a great idea, and I should totally text him. Nothing weird about that. I'm a friend. I'm checking in.

Ashton: Hey, are you okay?

I stare at my phone for a moment, but there's nothing. No dots. He's not typing.

Jenny an asshole, I add.

"Did he write back?" Michael asks.

I shake my head slowly. God. I don't know why this is making me so antsy. He's probably not even looking at his phone. Or maybe he just wants some space, for once. I should leave him alone. And I shouldn't even care. Really, I shouldn't.

But-okay. I guess it kind of bothers me. Just the thought of him off crying somewhere over Jennifer. Like, I get it. Believe me. I know exactly how it feels to be out of your mind in love with someone. And I know exactly how it feels to watch them kiss someone else.

My heart flips in my chest. There's this awful part of me that thinks he deserves this. Just a little taste of what last year was like for me. But another part of me wants to punch Jenny in the face.

And then, as if I've conjured her myself, she appears at our table. She's alone-Gigi seems to have disappeared. But she's not looking for Gigi.

"Calum's gone." She slides into the seat next to Michael. His lips are puffy, and his eyes are like glass.

"Shit. I fucked up. I shouldn't have-"

"Made out with Gigi right in front of him?" I raise my eyebrows.

"Am I the biggest asshole?" She buries her head in her hands and groans. "He probably hates me.

Fuck. I have to find him."

"I don't think you should do that."

"Do you know which way he went?" Jennifer stares past my shoulder, into the distance.

Michael frowns. "I'm not sure. It looked like she turned left."

"Toward the aviary?"

"Other left," says Michael.

"Okay." She nods resolutely. "I'm going to just . . ." She starts to stand.

"Nope. That's a really bad idea." I tug her back by the sleeve.