Red Vs Blue, & there's Magenta: Season Eleven

Chapter 7 Can I Keep It?

Within the Blue Base, Wash, Tucker, and Ruby stood before Caboose and 'Freckles'. South and Kaikaina took the liberty to distance theirselves from the murder robot, as did the Reds. Ruby wanted to get away from the thing that could cause explosions like they were nothing, but realized she had to at least try to keep things under control.

Tucker: So. . .

The Mantis turned.

Tucker: Never mind.

Wash: Caboose. . .

It then turned to Wash, and finally to Ruby.

Ruby: Where did you find this. . . Uh, Freckles. . . again?

Tucker: *whispers* That's a stupid name.

Allison: Your name is Lavernius.

Ruby: I think both names are. . . nice.

Allison: You almost said cute-

Ruby: No, I did not!

Tucker: Still stupid.

It then turned back to Tucker.

Tucker: Stupid cool, I mean! Great name! I mean, I wish that were my name! Yeah! Freckles is the best name ever that there ever was!

Wash: Technically, it's a Mantis Class Military Droid.

Ruby: Which means it blows stuff up, right?

Wash: Yeah.

Ruby: Oh, geez. . .

Tucker: Wait, why Mantis?

Wash: Well, you see those legs? They kind of resemble the legs of praying Mantis.

Tucker: No they don't.

Wash: Then, maybe it's the head shape?

Ruby: That does not look like a mantis's head.

Caboose: Maybe it's because during the act of procreation they rip off the head of their mates body and devour it. It's like an act of sexual cannibalism.

Wash: Ewww. . . What?!

Ruby/Allison: How the heck/hell do you know that?

Tucker: Eh, I've dated worse.

Ruby: You mean you haven't dated.

Tucker: *sighs* God fucking damn it.

Caboose: Yeah, I call him Freckles because of the spots on his nose.

Tucker: Well shit, I actually have to give it to Caboose on this one. Robot definitely looks more like a 'Freckles' than a 'Mantis'.

Wash: Fine. . . Where did you find. . . Freckles?

Caboose: Well, I was walking and I was sad and I missed Church-

Tucker: This is the greatest story of our generation.

Ruby: Be nice.

Caboose: And then I heard a noise-

Tucker: Seriously, it's like I was there.

Ruby: Tucker, please.

Caboose: Yeah, and then I saw the little guy under like pieces of rock and space ship and body parts.

Ruby: *mutters* That is not a little guy.

Tucker: Bow Chi-

And the Magenta Girl's SAW was raised.