𝚁 𝙴 𝙵 𝙻 𝙴 𝙲 𝚃 𝙸 𝙾 𝙽 | 𝙴𝚛𝚎𝚗 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝚃 𝙷 𝙸 𝚁 𝚃 𝚈 - 𝚃 𝚆 𝙾

(Y/N)'s POV:

I went back to school on Friday, finally. I'd never been more desperate to attend school in my life.

I was aching to get out, and I'd been surprised at how my friends had greeted me, asking me a whole bunch of questions when they saw me.

At lunch especially—I'd been asked at least five questions from each member of our friend group, and I tried not to cringe under all the pressure, but in the end I became grateful that they cared.

I didn't see Jean for the entire school day, however. Apparently he stopped eating lunch with the group for the last couple of weeks, and I couldn't tell whether I was worried or relieved at the news.

Marco had gone out of his way to ask about Jean, and I had to embarrassingly admit that I didn't know anything. To which he didn't seem surprised—only making me feel worse about the whole thing.

Though they said he'd be at the party tonight, which had me debating whether to even go. But I knew Eren was offering to drive me—well, technically I was demanding him to, but whatever.

I still wanted to go, because I decided I wasn't going to let Jean decide whether or not I was allowed to have fun. I'd had enough of him controlling that part of my life for the last year.

And I figured... I figured it was time to maybe...

End things with him.

Almost a year and a half with him and it felt like I hardly knew who he was. And he sure as hell didn't know who I was either—not even close. I didn't know why I put it off for so long, but I think now... now I finally have the strength to do what I knew was the right thing.

And maybe we could still be friends after.

I zoned out for the rest of the lunch period, silently making a pact with myself—deciding that I would talk to him tonight.

I had no idea where the confidence was coming from, but I was so, so tired of the anxiety and fear due to him. I knew Jean wasn't a bad person, and I never believed that he was. But he wasn't good for me, and he never had been. The incident with Sasha had said enough.

Plus, I had a strong feeling that Jean had been done with me for quite some time now. All I did was disappoint him, and I knew he deserved better. Someone who could match him and his energy. Someone that wasn't me.

The rest of the school day went by pretty slowly, as I found myself itching to get to the party—and to talk to Jean as soon as I could. After months of indecision, finally making a decision made me all the more desperate to get it done and over with.

In history last period, Annie told me more about how things were going with her and Armin.

"—It was actually kind of sweet, the way he got all shy about it," she said quietly.

I laughed softly from beside her. "Armin is probably one of the sweetest people on this planet, Annie. You're a lucky one," I admitted, stating the truth. Somehow, I felt like they really fit each other well.

"Yeah... I guess I am," she muttered, hardly looking at me. "I don't know, I just feel comfortable with him. He could walk into a room and I'd feel so much better, no matter what. I feel like I could talk to him about anything, and he would understand," she said, hiding her smile. "Do you feel the same way with Jean?" she asked, finally looking at me.

My mouth hung open, and I didn't know what to say. I'd forgotten that things between Jean and I were probably not so obvious to everyone else. Before I could answer, she shook her head. "Sorry, that was probably a bit too personal," she said.