The Day He Slipped Away

Prologue

-'-

"General Average mo na 'yan, Stella?" I was standing in front of my Dad at kanina niya pa ako pinapangaralan about my General Average. I worked hard for it because I don't wanna disappoint him and yet.. He's here scolding me.. again.

1.25 wasn't bad. Actually I'm a dean's lister, ano pa ba ang gusto niya?

"You could've done better, Stella," he moved his head left to right, showing how disappointed he is.

Here we go again.

He always compare me to my cousins that has straight uno. I mean, what's wrong with mine? Mataas din naman, right? I'm so tired of this drama. They're acting like i failed my whole school year.

"You still have two years. Don't disappoint me again," umalis siya sa harap ko at iniwan ang copy ng grades ko.

Instead of congratulating me he ended up walking away because he's disappointed. I'm an engineering student, by the way, and they never asked me what I really want.

Honestly, I don't want this course, but because they like it, they left me with no choice. They decide for me and all I have to do is follow them, because they said 'They know a lot than me, because they are much older than me'.

They said they know what really fits on me. Yes, it fits, but do I like this?

No.

Am I happy with their chosen course for me?

No.

Am I free?

No.

Am I able to defend myself when they're accusing me that I did bad so that my grades was like that?

No.

They'd think that I'm a disgrace.

I fixed my things pagkatapos ay umakyat na sa kwarto. Kahit sa kwarto ko ay wala akong privacy. Sometimes when I'm studying they'll unlock my door, because they have my keys.

When will I be free?

When will I be able to decide for myself?

Kapag ganito ay hindi na ako umiiyak. Siguro nga sanay na talaga ako. Simula noon ay ganito sila sa akin, kailangan ko raw manguna palagi. Kaya ginawa ko, kasi sa ganoong paraan nila ako pinalaki. Pero habang lumalaki ako na-realize ko na hindi naman dapat. Hindi naman dapat palagi akong nauuna.

It takes time and I don't need to rush.

All my decisions in life depends on them. I never really experienced deciding on my own.

"Take your vitamins, Stella," it was Mom.

"Yeah."

Pagkatapos ng hapunan namin ay umakyat ako ulit sa room ko. Wala naman kaming napag-uusapan bukod sa grades ko. Palagi na lang grades ko. How about me? I'm the one who's studying here and I almost gave up because I can't understand our lessons anymore.

Even though I'm already third year, they still want my driver to wait for me until I'm off to school just to be sure that I'll be straight home and study again. That was my routine. My most hated routine.

"Stella! Nakapili ka na ba ng sasalihan mo?" tanong ni Missy, kaklase ko. She's talking about departments.

"Ah.. Hindi pa. May slot pa bang available? Kung saan meron doon na lang ako." tumango naman siya. Sabi niya sa department daw nila ay may slot pa. Kaya baka roon niya na lang ako ilagay dahil gusto niya rin naman daw akong kasama.