The Day He Slipped Away

Twelve

—'—

I immediately fixed myself, because I need to hurry. I wiped my tears and pat my face hoping that the redness of my eyes and cheeks would vanish.

As I entered the small gate, I saw Kenji. He's looking at me with a tear in his eyes. Nadudurog man ako habang nakikitang umiiyak siya ay lumapit ako agad para yakapin siya.

"Congratulations, Kenj. I'm always proud of you and I love you," niyakap ko pa siya nang mahigpit. I let him cry on my shoulder. Tita Beth was crying beside us, too. Kanara was filming while also crying. Everyone's crying here. The sun's almost set.

We played the recorded graduation, when we heard Kenji's name Tita Beth pushed his wheel chair while crying. They stopped for a while when they reached the center of the stage that we made.

Pinaakyat ko rin si Kanara para makuhanan silang tatlo. After them, Tita Beth called me to take a picture.

"Thank you, Ma," ani Kenji. "Wala 'yon, kulang pa nga ito, anak. Ang mahalaga natupad natin ang isa sa mga pangarap mo."

"B-bago ako mawala," nilingon ko si Kenji. He smiled after saying that.

I pretend to look at the sky to stop my tears from falling. He's comfortable saying that he'll be gone, he's saying it like it was nothing to him, but I know that deep down he's bleeding and he just accepted it like 'it is what it is.'

I let Tita and Kanara to be with Kenji. I'm so happy seeing them like this. They're so close, something that I do not have with my parents.

I took a picture when they hugged Kenji. Kanara was crying while hugging her Kuya, Tita Beth was looking at her two children. It took them a lot of time to talk with Kenji. I'm happy for them because they were here to be with him.

Tita Beth called me, she said that Kenji and I should talk. They were going downstairs together with the other nurses, so there's only one nurse left here with us.

"Thank you, Stella," panimula niya na ikinaluwag ng dibdib ko dahil I don't even know how to start a conversation with him right now that I'm not okay. We all are.

"No, I should thank you," I smiled while looking at the color orange-red sky. Kenji held my hand, I stopped, I couldn't catch some air even if we're at the rooftop of the hospital. My heat was racing like a wild horse.

"You saved me, dapat lang na magpasalamat ako," aniya. I was confused, hindi ko alam kung bakit niya 'to sinasabi. "I saved you? How?"

"I was about to end my life, that day when we bumped to each other," that memory flashed, it was so clear to me. "What?" Nagugulat kong tanong.

"Bakit ngayon mo lang sinasabi 'to?"

"Kasi mamaya, wala na rin ako, Stella. Wala na tayong oras, pasensya ka na ngayon mo lang nalaman," my tears fall down on my cheeks. "I saw your artwork that day, 'yong nahulog. That's not the first time na nakita ko ang artwork mo. Sa campus palagi kitang nakikita mag-isa, madalas sa cafeteria at sa garden," I suddenly remember myself. Lagi talaga akong nasa cafeteria lang at garden, kung hindi ko gusto ang ingay ay hindi ako lumalabas ng classroom.

"Naka plano na lahat-lahat kaso dumating ka, kaya salamat pa rin. Salamat kasi nakilala kita, kung maibabalik ko lang, kikilalanin kita agad noong unang kita ko pa lang sa 'yo. Ang dami nating gustong gawin, wala pa tayo sa kalahati at hindi man lang ako nabigyan ng pagkakataon na tapusin 'yon lahat kasama ka," hindi ko na alam kung paano ko pipigilan ang sarili ko na maiyak. "May mga gamit ako sa bahay, kunin mo iyon kapag wala na ako, regalo ko sa 'yo, wala na ako sa graduation mo, eh, hindi na kaya."