The Day He Slipped Away

Eleven

I thought everything would went well, but I don't know. I can't explain everything. He's okay when we got home that night, we were so happy talking to each other before we sleep. So I can't imagine that this could happen.. that fast.

I just woke up the next day and received a lot of missed calls and messages from Kenji's mom.

You know, I love the feeling of receiving calls and mesages, but I cannot accept it if it was from Kenji's mother, I know what it is and I don't wanna read it. From the number of missed calls and unread messages, fear embraced me. I felt helpless, and I just found myself crying beside my bed.

I know that it was bad news. She won't call and leave a message like that if there's nothing wrong.

Kenji's mom was looking for me, she sent me the address of the hospital where Kenji was admitted. Huwag na raw ako pumunta kung hindi ako pinayagan, pero hindi na ako nagpaalam at tumuloy na lang doon.

Ni hindi ko alam kung paano ako nakarating sa hospital, I was wearing my sleepwear, but I don't care. What matters most here is Kenji.

That day I saw him lying on the bed, pale lips, light skin color, and messy hair. He didn't wake up the whole day, and we don't know when.

Now I'm sitting here beside him, it's been five days, the day after tomorrow is their graduation. I know how much he loves to graduate.

"Please wake up na," I pleaded like he can hear whatever I'm saying. I've been here since yesterday, actually, araw-araw naman akong nandito, kagabi lang ako hindi umuwi.

Bumukas ang pinto at iniluwa noon si Tita Beth, "Your breakfast is here, binilhan na kita para hindi ka na bumaba," inilapag ni tita ang dala niyang tinapay at tubig.

Umupo siya sa bangko na nasa tabi ni Kenji. "Hindi ka kaya hinahanap sa inyo?" tanong niya sa akin. "Nagpaalam po ako kay Mommy at Nanay," wika ko, tumango siya.

"Ang tigas talaga ng ulo ng bata na 'to," umiling si Tita. Hindi niya pala pinayagan si Kenji sa festival dahil dumugo na ang ilong niya bago umalis. Nagpumilit lang at tumakas, kaya rin pala hindi siya naihatid. Ang sabi niya busy si Tita Beth.

Bumuntong-hininga si Tita, "I'm sorry if ngayon ko pa 'to sasabihin sa 'yo, you can cut me off if ayaw mo mapakinggan," tumango ako at nakinig, wala akong plano na putulin ang ano mang sasabihin niya.

"Bago pa man siya dalhin sa hospital, he's always beside me, kahit magluluto lang ako gusto niya nakikita ako palagi at ang kapatid niya.. Actually palaging ganoon, minsan siya na ang nag luluto para sa amin."

"And then I confronted him, I said bakit ganoon siya, naninibago ako. Ang sabi niya namimiss niya raw ako agad. Naguluhan pa nga ako noong una, eh. Pagkatapos noon, saka ko napagtanto na.." tumigil siya at tumingin sa taas, pinipigilan ang sariling umiyak.

"D-doon ko napagtanto na my son's really dying. As a mother I cannot accept it. I can't think of it at first, kasi akala ko ganoon lang talaga siya kasi matagal kaming nalayo sa kaniya, though he's really a sweet child, noon pa man," inilabas ni Tita ang wallet niya at inilabas ang picture ni Kenji, inabot niya iyon sa akin, he's tiny here, I bet beside him was his Dad, and then on the other side was Tita Beth, his Mom.

Nagpatuloy si Tita sa pagsasalita. "Kapag pagod ako sa trabaho noon, wala pa ang kapatid niya, palagi niyang hinihilot ang ulo at ang paa ko. Ayaw niyang nakikitang pagod ako, kahit ngayong malaki na siya. Kaya noong nalaman namin na may sakit siya, sinasabi niya ayos lang daw siya, gagaling din. Pero alam ko sa loob-loob niya na nahihirapan din siya. Ayaw niya magpagamot o kaya naman ay magpa-check sa Doctor, dagdag pa raw sa gastusin," I can picture Kenji doing that to his Mom. Tita was true, he's really sweet.