Memory Loss

Chapter 19

Chris

I couldn't believe I tried to kiss her, what the hell was wrong with me. I don't know what I was thinking we were having so much fun and I ruined it. I was so annoyed at myself that after I had locked up and started walking home I still hadn't calmed down, I punched a nearby wall and regretted it straight away, it hurt like hell.

I didn't know what was going on, or why I was feeling this way about Katie but I knew that I didn't care. I didn't care that I was mean't to be with Tiffany, I didn't care that I would upset her. All I cared about was Katie, it was strange the way that had intensifid when I was close to kissing her, like maybe I had done it before, but after the way she acted I doubt that. I just hoped she talked to me again beacuse I felt like a life with out her just wasnt worth it.

When I got in I rang Brett and told him what was going on and how I was feeling.

"Mate I know you hit your head but Katie? Really? I dont think thats a good idea," he told me.

"Why not, what's wrong with her?" I asked annyoed that he was being rude about her.

"She's not in your league. You've got Tiffany - give her a try and then see how you feel."

"A try?" I asked not wanting to believe what I thought he mean't.

"Yeah mate, look I gotta go," He told me as I head someone giggle in the back ground.

"Who's that?" I asked not really caring.

"Cassy, bye mate." He hung up.

I was surprised by how unhelpful Brett had been but I wondered if he was right, maybe I should spend a day with Tiffany and see if my feelings for Katie dissappeared.

*              *              *

Tiffany had been in the Den for all of five minutes when I realised trying to forget Katie wouldn't work.

"Help yourself to a drink," I told Tiffany as I grabbed my laptop and put it away.

"Oh, OK," she stammered.

A few seconds later I heard her looking in the cupboards and it dawned on me that she had no idea where anything was. I turned to watch her and saw everything about her that I used to like and realised that fifteen year old boys know nothing about love.

I watched as she tried to reach the glasses on the top shelf and saw that her tiny white poka dotted mini skirt was in danger of showing her bum, it did nothing for me which suprised me because she was pretty and I expected my body to betray me like it used to.

"Chris can you give me a hand?" She asked turning around. I smiled at her, I knew she had caught me looking at her.

"Are you checking me out?" She laughed. Guess she didn't care if I was or not.

"Maybe." I told her.

I got the glasses out and after getting us a coke each we settled down to watch a rom-com film. It turned out to be a film about two guy best friends that liked the same girl. It wasn't too bad and was even funny in places but I liked a film with more action and I wondered why I used to sit through these types of films.

"What did you think?" Tiffany asked me once it has finished.

"I was Ok, not my kind of film though," I told her truthfully.

For the next couple of hours we chatted about everything but I never really felt like I was getting to know her, it was always what was 'in' or what everyone else liked.

"Tiffany can I ask you something?" I turned and took her hand in mine, I felt none of the warmth I had when i'd done the same with Katie.

"Of course babe anything."

"What do you love most about me?"

She looked at me like I was crazy and I didn't blame her.

"That's easy Chris, you all of you." She smiled and I didn't believe her one bit, I was starting to learn the signs of when she was lying to me or not.

"Ok, well whats the first thing you noticed about me?"

"Your looks, your gorgeous."

I guess I knew it was coming and I wanted to be mad at her but I wasn't because three years ago I was just like her.

I leaned towards her knowing this was my last chance, my last shot to try and feel something for this girl and I kissed her. Our lips touched and she kissed me back instantly, still kissing she pushed me back onto the sofa and straddling me she started undoing my belt. I knew this was esculating fast and I wasn't totally sure I wanted it to. I stopped kiss her back and pulled away and she sat up. Some how she had taken her top and bra off without me noticing her hands had left me at all and as I looked her up and down I was finding it extremely difficult to concentrate her boobs looked amazing, as far as I was aware these where the only boobs i'd ever seen and they look great. I realised that her hand was still down my pants and I knew she could feel me getting hard, I guess my body wasn't compeltely without falws after all.

"Tiffany, this isnt what I was trying -," I stopped I wasn't sure what I was trying to say.

"I know you want it Chris, I can feel it." She told me grabbing me and moving her hand up and down.

I auidably groan because again I was pretty sure this was a first time for me, well as far as my brain was concerned anyway.

"Tiffany I'm sorry, no we can't." I told her taking her hand off me.

God if I told any guy about this they would kill me, what was I doing.

She got up and put her clothes back on, I thought she was upset, embrassed maybe but when she turned around she looked angry.

"I give myself to you on a plate and you still don't want me?"

"Tiffany I'm sorry. I know you said we were dating but - "

She started laughing and didn't stop for ages, it was hysterical, it kind of freaked me out if i'm honest.

"Us dating? Please I lied about that. You were in love with someone else, but you know what? I didn't care and I still don't now, she will never forgive you for this." She walked away still laughing.

I sat there in shock for hours.