Memory Loss

Chapter 23

Chris

Once i'd finished locking the door I turned around to see what Katie was doing. Unable to see her I assumed she was in the back moping the floor like she'd promised earlier. As I get closer to the food area though I begin to hear her and she is crying, sobbing really. I run to her, my heart beating in my ears. I see her crumbled on the floor as though a pupet master has just let go of her strings. As I go to her I pull her into my lap and hold her in my arms. She sobs into my chest for hours why I vow to kill whoever has hurt her in this way.

I suddenly realise as her breathing steadies that we are extremly close and she is making me feel things that I shouldn't be able to in this situation. I look down at her and she is already looking up at me, even teared stained she looks beautiful.

"Kate whats wrong?" I ask unable to stop myself.

"Did you see that little baby?" she asked me.

I nod that kid wasn't even a month old, tiny hands and feet. He was so small.

"He was so small." She wispers.

It makes me smile that we're thinking the same thing.

"I can't wait to have kids," I tell her realising as soon as it comes out that I mean it. I can't wait to be a father. I notice Katie has started crying again.

"Katie, I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you."

"I had, am having a miscaridge." she whispers so quitley I barely hear her through her renewed sobs.

My heart breaks instantly when she tells me and I pull her in tighter. I can't figure out why all of a sudden it feels like she is holding me together not just me holding her. Its like we are conected and I feel her pain like its my own its agnoy. I don't understand the pain but I know that if me hurting stopped Katie I would hurt like this for the rest of my life.

"I'm so sorry Katie," I tell her cuddling her even tighter to me.

She sunggles closer to me and tells me thanks.

"The dad?" I ask knowing its none of my business.

She get instantly defensive and I feel horrid.

"I know who he is Chris, I've only slept with one guy."

"That's not what I mean't at all," I tell her shocked she came to the conclusion.

I begin to wonder during the silence who i've slept with. It's no wonder she thinks I meant that when I have no idea how many girls I have slept with, if any.

"He doesn't know." She finally tells me.

"Don't you think he should?" I tell her, wondering how I would feel if it was me.

"It would upset him. I don't want to do that, it's over between us now anyway."

"But you still love him?" I ask because I swear when she talks about him i can tell she does.

"Yes with all my heart," she cries laying her head on my chest again.

I feel like punching the guy that's broke her heart, how could you not love this girl.

Much later Katie agrees to let me take her home, and even though I don't want to let her go I say goodbye. The walk home isnt far and I'm there before I know it.

I'm barely in bed before I'm crying like the biggest idot there ever was. I have no idea why but my heart aches and aches, its so painfull I just want to crawl up and die. Later once I've finally calmed down I'm laying in bed staring at the clock watching it got from 4:02, 4:03, 4:04 when I sunddenly realise, it just sort of hits me like a wave of emotion. I'm in love with Katie.