Say Something

Chapter 24

PAST

TW: Depression and Suicide

Louis is struggling, having to keep his secret love affair with Harry eats him up alive. He is done having to lie about who he is, he misses his mom and sister. Louis has fallen into a deep dark depression. He needs to deal with his emotions the only way he knows how by writing a song. Louis gets his guitar and begins to sing.

"I've always had to hideaway

And now I'm done hiding

I am broken

I am scared

I am lost

I am done

I just want to close my eyes

And flyway

I want to go away

I wanna fly away

I wanna be free

Is it too much to ask for

I can't keep hiding away

I am done with this game

I am hurting

I am hoping

To disappear

I can't do

This anymore 

I just want to close my eyes

And flyway

I wanna go away

I wanna fly away

I wanna be free

Is it too much to ask for

Too many years I've been kept in the dark

Too many years I've been fighting for my life

I'm screaming and I'm yelling

Trying to come out

But nobody cares

So I guess it's my time to fly away

I just want to close my eyes

And flyway

I want to go away

I wanna fly away

I wanna be free

Is it too much to ask for?"

Louis throws the guitar on the ground, screaming, and crying. He can't do this anymore; he can't live like this. Louis realizes he will never be free for as long as he lives. He needs to be free; he longs to be free. But with how the cruel world works he knows that will never happen. The only way he can be free is if he dies. He decides he needs to die; he needs to kill himself. He takes his phone and messages Liam.

"Payno, I can't handle the pressure anymore. I can't keep lying about who I am. I love Harry, I fucking love Harry, and I have always loved Harry. I'm gay Payno, I'm gay, and I just want the world to know. I want to be free, but I can't wait any longer, I have no more patience. I'm gonna go be with my mom and my sister Payno. Tell Harry I love him and I'm sorry, but I can't wait any longer to be free. Please watch over Harry while I'm gone. Don't let the world break him the way it broke me. Be there for Harry Payno, he'll need you. I know this is gonna break his heart, but I can't wait any longer. Tell my family I love them and I'm sorry. Tell Nialler I'll miss his jokes and his constant need to be involved in me and Harry's relationship. Tell Zayn I'm no longer angry at him for leaving the band, I miss him and wish we could have fixed our relationship before all this. Payno I know I used to tease you a lot but you were my brother and that's what brothers do. Goodbye Payno, stay strong mate. Sincerely your Tommo."

Louis sends the message. He is home alone in him and Harry's room. He goes into the bathroom, shutting the door. Clifford sits at the door whining, he goes to the medicine cabinet and opens it, grabbing a container of pills.