The Sh#% Your Parents Should Tell You

Unhappiness is Normal

You won't be happy all the time. That's perfectly normal.

There is a myth that rolls around our collective consciousness that suggests that if we achieve our goals and dreams, we'll live happily ever after. Never again will we struggle. Things will just magically work out well. And we will always feel good about ourselves and our lives.

I've got news for ya. That ain't how life works.

Life is and always will be a series of experiences, some of which will please us, some of which will displease us, some of which will knock us flat on our ass and make us question who we are and what the fuck we're doing with our lives.

We have no control over which type will hit us when. Life will dish one or the other out whenever the hell it pleases. Furthermore, we won't be able to control how that experience makes us feel either.

It's true that you can (maybe) minimize your potential for experiencing the ugliness of life by always playing it safe and staying in your comfort zone and never really challenging yourself. But you'll also miss out on a whole lot of life and love. You'll never be able to discover your full potential. And some ugliness will still eventually find you.

What that means is this: even if you're doing everything "right," at some point, shit will still bear down on you like a level 5 hurricane. And it will leave you feeling crappy as a maggot in a massive pile of cow dung.

Alternatively stated, there is no formula for happiness or success. There is no sure-fire way to avoid pain and loss and disappointment. All of that will come and go; you won't be able to control their tides. Trying to is as futile as trying to control the movement of the ocean itself. It's a recipe for constant frustration and grief.

While there is no way to avoid pain and loss and assure perpetual happiness and success, there is a way to cultivate inner fortitude through it all - understand that none of this is a reflection of your worth. Failure doesn't mean you suck. Success doesn't mean you're better than everyone else. Happiness doesn't mean you're good, and depression doesn't mean you're bad. This is all just shit that happens. It will pass. Things will change. And you will still have the power to choose how you respond to yourself and others. You can choose love or you can choose hate, and it's that choice and that choice alone that will determine the state of your soul.

So my dear friend, don't strive or expect to be happy all the time. Strive to be you. The rest will take care of itself.