What do we think of when we think of love? I'd wager it's mostly happy, pleasant things. Maybe we think of feeling warm and fuzzy on the inside. Maybe we think of being accepted for who we are. Maybe we think of romantic things like holding hands and kissing and making love. Maybe we think of things like the security of having a home and family. A multitude of positive experiences likely come to mind, far too many to list here. But it is clear that we believe that love is an experience that makes us feel good, solid, whole. And that's why we long for it, strive for it, center our lives around it. As well we should. Love is and does all those things. Love is our one and only superpower.
But as with all superpowers, there is a cost. And for love, that cost is pain.
If you love someone, at some point that love will inevitably cause you pain. It's a fact that we all conveniently ignore or perhaps just never learned. That pain doesn't mean that love has disappeared or gone bad. It simply means you're connected. It means you care. It means what that person does, who they are, where they end up, matters to you. That you've integrated them into your heart.
In that sense, love is a parasite. It slithers its tendrils through every part of your being, then changes how you work inside. Things that didn't matter before suddenly matter more than anything, and things you thought most important suddenly slide to second, third, or even last place. You become willing to set aside some of your wants and needs to accommodate another. You become a new you.
So, when life tears this parasite out of you through some horrible or inevitable act of fate, it leaves gaping, ragged wounds throughout your being that never completely heal, that often remain raw and tender to the touch.
This is all normal. This is all unavoidable.
In order to love freely and fully, we have to accept both the power and pain of love.
Love is powerful. Love is painful. We can't experience one aspect without experiencing the other. It's only when we learn to accept this that we can love freely and fully.
YOU ARE READING
The Sh#% Your Parents Should Tell You
Non-FictionYour parents probably tell you a lot of things like study hard, get a good job, be a decent human being, take out the goddamn garbage for christ's sake. But what they won't tell you are the ugly (and slightly less ugly) truths about life that, if...
