Dusk&Summer

29.

He loved her. Derek Shepherd loved her. She had known something was going on. She should have known that something like this could be coming. But she hadn't. She hadn't even thought it could be coming. They spent every minute together. he wanted their first time to be something special but she hadn't thought that that meant...that. She had...it had been weeks.

Just a few weeks. A month. That's it. It was insane and he couldn't...she had been thinking he was different or something. He had been different and she had just thought...well, not this. This was big. This was big and huge and he...he loved her. Derek Shepherd loved her and it was crazy. It had been insane and she wasn't sure what it meant. She wasn't sure what any of this meant.

They had been having fun. Lots and lots of fun. This was possibly the best summer she could remember having in a long time, at least since the last time she had been at the summer house. She liked hanging around with Derek. She even loved being around Derek. But being in love...him being in love, that was insane. Med school had driven Derek insane or something.

She wasn't even sure what to do or say. Running had made sense. Which was why she was now running up the stairs, a towel wrapped around her still naked and wet body because skinny dipping had been a good idea. Skinny dipping and being dirty with Derek had been a great idea. Until he had gone crazy. He must have hit his head or something because this was...head injury crazy.

He couldn't love her. She didn't do love. She didn't even believe in love. And he knew that. He had known that before any of this other stuff had even happened and she had thought he had understood that. He seemed to understand it. He didn't judge her and he was...he had been taking things slow and talking her through things. He was okay with her not knowing how to do the relationship thing.

And the relationship thing was big and scary enough. Love was...love wasn't real. It might be real for some people, but it wasn't for her. She wasn't the type of person love was easy for, so this entire thing was crazy. He had to know that. He had to know that she couldn't do this. There was no way she was ready to be this person. "Soph!" she yelled as she pounded on Brian's door.

"Hey!" Brian's voice responded. "Someone's sleeping in here."

"Bri...Soph...come on!"

"Meredith..." Brian groaned, and she heard him move off the bed before to door opened a crack. "Soph's sick."

"I know," Meredith sighed. "I know. I just...I really really need to talk to her."

"Can the freak....why are you naked?"

"I...long story that I have to tell Sophie and...I have a towel. I have a towel and I need to talk to Soph."

"She's sick. Can this not wait?"

"No. No it really can't wait. It really really really can't wait because if it waits then...bad things, Brian. Really really bad things."

"Are you or Derek about to die?"

"What? No."

"Than it can wait."

"No, Brian....Derek...I...Derek said...I really need to talk to Sophie."

"Let her in, Bri!" Sophie yelled. "She sounds like she's going to spontaneously combust."

"Thank you," Meredith rolled her eyes, pushing Derek to the side as she walked into Brian's room. Sophie was curled up on the bed, a box of tissues next to her. "Soph..."

"What did he do?"

"He...we were swimming," Meredith sighed as she climbed into the bed. "We were swimming and we kind of fought but not really and then we were talking and then...and then he said things, Sophie. Or he said one thing. Not things. One thing."