Marcus

Chapter One

 Marcus ~

It had been seven years since Marcus had to put Red's body in the ground. Seven years since He leaned onto her casket and sobbed, telling her he loved her over and over and over again as if the phrase could turn back time.

To be the only one who survived that horrific day was a burden that Marcus carried with him every single day of his life. It was a heavy load to carry, but the team he joined eight months after the bombing, had filled so much of that void, making life bearable again.

Declan, Pierce, and Caleb stepped up and supported him through every peak and valley of his depression. They helped him through his struggles with PTSD and comforted him as he mourned the loss of not only his team, but the woman he loved.

Not only that, but all four teams (Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, and Delta) at Knight Security quickly became his family and held him up firmly when he felt like he couldn't go on. He thanked his lucky stars that he had ended up at Knight after the bombing and for the new found family that surrounded him, but he would be the first to admit that he had changed.

He was a different person after the loss of his team...after the loss of Caroline. His lighthearted energy had darkened and faded, leaving a serious scowl in its place. It wasn't that Marcus was mean or heartless - the opposite in fact. But his tough exterior had grown even tougher and he found it difficult to enjoy the same things that had before Red died. Not only that, but his protective nature had grown resulting in a heightened awareness that bordered on paranoia for a few years.

When he first joined Bravo team at Knight, he refused to go out and celebrate after a successful mission or to go club hopping to prowl for women with the rest of the team. But Declan, Caleb, and Pierce were sensitive to Marcus' PTSD and aversion to large crowds which led to many nights in, drinking beer in the comfort of their own homes so Marcus would feel comfortable.

There was a sadness within Marcus that never truly went away and he found himself constantly comparing his current life to the life he had before - the life he had when Red was still on this Earth. The truth was, nothing compared to Red. His whole word was less bright and seemed to turn slower with a hopelessness that constantly hung in the air around him no matter what he did to avoid it. His grief was all consuming, but every day he learned a new way to navigate through his new normal with the help of his teammates by his side every step of the way.

How is it that I still miss you as much today as I did the day we laid you here, baby? It's been seven years...shouldn't this have gotten easier?

Marcus stood in the cemetery that he frequented every year to visit Caroline. He had been on assignment in Colombia on October 4th and missed the actual anniversary of her passing, but made a point to come up and spend the day with her once he got home.

He had cleaned her headstone the way he always did when he came to visit, but for some reason, leaving was out of the question. Marcus got as far as a hotel but couldn't go any further as if Red was calling out to him, begging him not to leave - so he didn't.

"Why? Why are you being so loud, Red? What are you trying to tell me Hon?" Marcus said out loud as he looked down at Caroline's headstone.

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Marcus stood there with his eyes closed, trying to hear what his Red was trying to tell him.

"Talk to me Honey. Why do you need me here?" He said with his face upturned to the sky, trying to understand his sudden urge and pull to stay at the cemetery after all these years.

Car doors started slamming shut in the distance, but Marcus ignored them, honing his senses in on the light breeze that whipped across his face, searching it for signs of his sweet Red.