Marcus

Chapter Eleven

 Marcus ~

Marcus hadn't slept a wink and shoveled food into his mouth as he listened to the conversations around him at breakfast. The truth was, he wasn't interested in conversation at the moment and had no problem sitting back to become a silent observer. He wasn't in the mood to joke or laugh with Alpha team and had retreated into himself trying to sort through the madness that had consumed him over the past week.

Going through so many emotional highs and lows in such a short period of time had taken a toll on Marcus, causing him to feel numb and disconnected. It was his body's way of protecting himself. There was too much going on around him and his mind decided that it would be better to feel nothing at all than to feel everything at once.

He was surrounded by his teammates, enlisted men, and military professionals of all sorts in the mess hall of the base, but he had never felt so alone.

Usually he could feel Red's presence pulling at his heart, she had been particularly loud over the past few weeks, but not that morning. That morning she was silent.

Where are you Red? I feel you every minute of every day, but why can't I feel you right now?

"You ready Mac?" Axel asked, pulling Marcus from his emotional haze.

"Yeah, born ready" Marcus said flatly.

It turns out Alyssa had returned to the base late last night and was available to meet with them for a few minutes that morning. Marcus was anxious to talk to her and was relieved he didn't have to wait all day to get the answers he needed. He needed to hear her say that she had been the one to free Richardson last night so he could return home without any nagging doubts.

Standing abruptly, Marcus tried to force a smile, but couldn't no matter how hard he tried. But once he stood he noticed Austin and Hawk standing as well, ready to follow them out.

Austin must have picked up on Marcus' confusion, so he quickly explained on their behalf.

"We thought you could use all the support you could get today." Austin said, giving Marcus an endearing slap on the back.

"We're here for ya brother" Hawk added.

"I appreciate it." Marcus said, feeling a bit of warmth from their gesture as the whole team made their way across the base together.

Despite the support he was receiving, Marcus couldn't help but feel like he was about to be delivered a death sentence, like his last fraction of hope of Red being alive was about to be ripped from his chest. He knew exactly what Alyssa was going to say and although he needed the confirmation in order to get closure, he was going to have to accept Caroline's death all over again and that task was becoming more and more taxing every time his heart was forced to experience it.

"What up Ax?" Nash said, greeting them from where he was leaning against one of the base structures.

"Hey Nash, thanks for settin' this up buddy."

"You know I got your back. Alyssa's in 2B - told her you were comin'" Nash said, motioning over his shoulder with this thumb.

Here we go.

As soon as Marcus and Axel rounded the corner into Alyssa's office, Marcus let his eyes settle on her face, quickly realizing how little she favored Caroline. Her hair was dark auburn and her eyes were blue, but weren't nearly as warm and bright. She was tall and slender, but she wasn't fit and toned like Caroline. She was a beautiful woman...but she wasn't Red.

"Come on in, gentlemen. Nash told me you'd be stopping by, but I'm afraid I'm a little pressed for time." Alyssa said kindly.

"We won't take up much of your time ma'am, we just had a few questions about an op we were called in to assist with, one that you are apparently working long term alongside Avery Richardson.