Tears of Blood (wlw)

never say never

DEVYN POV

"Helloooo, anyone home??" I yell as I walk into the house.

"Devyn? Why are you back so early, weren't you coming back over the weekend?" Sloane walks down the stairs to meet me.

"You're getting married and you expect me to be in school? No way. I'm taking the next few days off, and I'll go back when the party is over."

"Up to you."

"So has father talked about any updates for the Runes?" We walk into the kitchen and I check the cabinets for something to eat.

"Well, there's been a lot more sightings in the North, he fears that it's getting worse. We might have to deal with another war against those monsters."

"Damn."

"The Rahl's have closed all their borders too. They have decided not to help us."

"That's a given. After all these years of rivalry and bloodshed, of course they won't. Why do we even bother asking them?"

"You're right. I have a gut feeling that they're going to wait for the Runes to run all over Orien, and then they're going to attack us."

"We'll be ready then. We'll beat them, like we did, like we always do. They're just a bunch of cowards."

"Yeah, well, don't worry about it. They'll handle it."

"They better."

I grab some ice cream and then sit on the couch and Sloane joins me.

"So are you bringing anyone to the wedding?"

"Uh- I don't think so. Well, no one that's not on your guest list. You invited all my friends right?"

"Yeah I did. And Andrea too." She says with a playful smirk.

"And I still hate you for that."

"Do you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I look at her and she replies with a shoulder shrug.

"I mean, I think you two could be friends if you put your egos aside."

"I don't want her to be friend."

"So you want her to be more than a friend?" She laughs. I grab the pillow next to me and throw it at her.

"Never in a million years."

"You know, ever since we were little, I could understand you even when you never spoke. I know when you wanted something, but never spoke up out of the fear of father, but I used to sneak them to you at night."

"I remember. The chocolate tasted better when you stole it just for me."

"Mhmm. So right now I can't help but feel, that you have something for her."

"Who? Andrea? You've got to be kidding me."

"I'm not." She throws the pillow back at me.

"She's rude, annoying, and-"

"And hot..?"

"Shut up." I get up from the couch and start to walk up to my room but she follows me.

"You see? You can't even talk about it."

"Maybe because there's nothing to talk about." I enter my room and she hops onto the bed.

"I see the way you look at her." I suddenly stop in my tracks, not wanting to turn around, as I could feel heat rising in my cheeks.

"I look at everyone."

"Not like that, you never do." Clenching my jaws, I breath in and turn around, joining her on the bed.

"Maybe it's because I despise her?"

"You know, you spend a lot of your time announcing your hate for her. Are you trying to convince me you actually hater her, or yourself?"

"It's nothing like that. We just have our differences. It's not love or hate. She has Ash, I have Iris."

"I see. And do you really like Iris?" I stare at my hands not knowing how to answer.

"I guess."

"You know a wise man once said, A great deal of damage is done in practical human relations by saying that you love people, when what you mean is that you ought to and don't. You give the impression, and people begin to expect things of you which you are never going to come through with."

"What am I supposed to do with that information?"

"Dev, why are you wasting your time on someone who you don't feel the same for?"

"I just- I don't know. Truth is, I don't even believe in relationships or even love."

"Is this because father feeds you the 'don't fall in love' lecture every few weeks?"

"Okay, tell me, when has love ever worked out? It's just stupid."

"So you're saying you've never loved anyone?"

"Not like how the books describe. Like I love you, I love Riley and Sage and my friends."

"So you never get butterflies around someone? You never feel your heart race when they're around?"

"Is that how you feel?"

"Sure. It's like being around that person feels like magic. You feel alive. And yeah it can be overwhelming and stressful, but it doesn't matter because you're willingly to work through it for that person. It's freeing. It feels exciting, it brings out parts of you that you didn't know you had. No matter what you do, you keep going back to them, and so do your thoughts. You can't see them in pain. Every minute with them feels beautiful that you don't want it to end. You've never felt that way for anyone?" My mouth feels dry as I look away. How was I supposed to tell her that I did. I did feel all those things and so much more. And only one name circled in my head. Andrea.

"Hellooo, where'd you get lost?" Sloane waves her hand in front of my face.

"Nothing, just was wondering when you became a poet?"

"Love makes everyone a poet."

"You are a lost cause."

"Just watch, once you fall in love, your life is going to change. Then you'll come to me."

"I doubt that."

"You never know."

"I know."

"Well, that's that then. Let's go look at outfits for the wedding for you." She grabs my arm and we head towards her room.

While she showed me the options I had, I couldn't pay attention. Did I actually like her? Or was it just because she was the first person who could stand against me? What was it about her that had her stuck in my head? Was love as beautiful as Sloane described?

Was I in love? No. Can't be.