Lost

Chapter 36

An hour later the sun is up.
And I'm finally home.
I guide Toothless around Berk to avoid flying straight over the village and quickly but quietly fly through the window in my bedroom and land. It almost seems unreal to be back. Alive.
To see my bed in the same condition I left it as, drawings scattered all around, felt almost unreal.
I slowly slide off Toothless and sit down on my bed in a dazed state. Astrid is looking at me sympathetically and walks over. She hugs my head and I find myself leaning onto her as she rubs circles on the back of my head.
"It's going to be fine Hiccup," she says confidently.
"We're home. You're alright."
I feel her kiss the top of my head and then I'm staring into her eyes but I can't seem to focus on anything.
"Stay here. I'll be right back."
And before I can respond in any way, she's gone down the stairs and I'm alone. A snore startles me and I look over to find Toothless completely knocked out on his bed. A small smile breaks across my face. I position myself more comfortably on the bed and lay down with a sigh.
I don't understand. I'm home. I'm finally safe and home and alive! Why can't I be happy? Why can't I go out there and joyfully say hi to my people, lift the weights off their shoulders once again like a good chief does? Then again they have no idea what I've been going through. Maybe I've just finally broke, shattered into tiny pieces that would take forever to glue back together. All the pressure and stress and being trapped on an island hurt was finally was too much to handle and I fell. Patch's death gave me that extra push off the edge. I've fallen far and right now I don't feel like finding a way out. The darkness sounds so much better right now then this blinding light. My eyes close and I'm happy for the dark abyss that takes me away.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Later that evening I slowly gained consciousness. A moment of panic rushes through me before I realize that I'm back home. My eyes wander around the room until they land on another form under the sheets cuddled up next to me. She shifts slightly and cuddles closer to my side. Astrid. It feels amazing waking up next to Astrid again. My arm wraps around her and I snuggle up against her. I barely recall a few hours before when I was half asleep and felt the sheets lift for a few seconds before feeling someone lean up against me. She must have found me asleep and decided to crawl in next to me. We were both exhausted from the tiring "adventure" and I already feel much better than before. I look down at Astrid's peaceful face and brush the hair away from her forehead. She slightly shifts but doesn't wake up. I glance over at the window and realize the sky is orange and red, telling me that it's almost sundown. I should get up and see mother but I haven't been this comfortable in more than a week. I feel safe.
That one word earns a sigh from my mouth and I feel my eyelids droop over once again.