𝘈 𝘙𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘰𝘳 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘚𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 //𝘛.𝘍 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 //

Part 5 || 28 - Asphyxiation of Love

100th chapter alert!!! Here come the water works!!!!!!!!! Oh and do play the song now...

It has been a week since Vin and I broke up. He was very understandable - just like I told you, he's very sweet for me, too sweet - we still agreed to be friends and he was still my OB-GYN. I didn't tell anyone about the breakup, no one needs to know that. But Tom needs to know something, I'm tired of having these feelings for him.

Currently, I moved in with Tom, Derek and Timber and Jade was busy in her job, so she had to leave Hertfordshire for a month. I didn't want to move in with Tom even if it was for two months. I wasn't making it any easier for me. I groaned as I tried to get comfortable to sleep in the new bed. Tom always knew I don't get comfortable sleeping in new places, so he tried to make this guest bedroom look like mine.

I let out a frustrated groan, took my penguins and headed to Tom's room. I knocked on his door, "Come in" I heard him shuffling. I pouted as he looked up from his glasses. He chuckled a little, "What is it?" he asked pulling the covers off of his body. "I can't sleep" I said like a little girl.

He started laughing. I frowned and threw one of the penguins at his face, "What is so funny?" I asked as he caught on his breathing. "You're a 25 year old girl, who is eight months pregnant with two, well now one penguin in her arms and pouting because she couldn't sleep without a hot chocolate" he said still laughing.

I groaned and threw the other penguin as well. "Are you going to make me hot chocolate or not?" I asked whining a little. "Let's go, Shorty" he said and we headed to his kitchen. We didn't sleep the whole night and spent it by talking and playing cards.

••••••

I was going to take a break from my birthday, November 29th, which was two days later, Julius and Nick were flying in on that day as little Alexi was scheduled to born of the 15th of December. I had decided to confess to Tom again, no matter what happens, I'm tired of having these feelings over and over again.

And it's kinda pathetic that I can't move on even when he's broken my heart so many times...

I was already having Braxton Hicks contractions - fake labor - from the past week. Tom and I were worried but Dr. Vin assured that it was normal. I had already told Emma that I was going to do it today itself. Jade was not home yet from her trip, I wasn't feeling good about what I was doing but I had to, now I'm just totally and completely tired.

I took a deep breath in before knocking on Tom's trailer, it was middle of the day, all of my scenes for today were done. "It's open" Tom shouted from inside. I entered the dorm and gave him a small smile. "Erm, we need to talk" I said in a low voice. "What is it? Are you okay? Do we need to go to the hospital?" he asked in concern making me shake my head no.

Here it goes...

"I have been lying to you..." I began and looked up, "I still love you" I said as he took a step back, "What are you talking about? What about Calvin?" he asked furrowing his eyes. "Vin and I broke up, almost a week ago" I said as he shook his head, "Tom, I do, I do love you and I have been trying so fucking hard to move on but it's difficult. I see you everyday. Everyday with her. Or talking about her. Or singing about her. And I smile for you but what you don't realize is that it hurts me, a lot and you have no idea"

"I'm not saying that you should break up with her. That's your decision. But I'm here to tell you that-"

"Shorty, no-"

"No, don't - don't 'Shorty' me. Shut up and listen. I'm tired Tom, of having these feelings. Too tired, cause you can't see what's in front of you. Someone who loves you for everything you are. A person who feels every emotion you're going through, who puts your feelings before her own"