𝐒𝐔𝐂𝐂𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐅𝐔𝐋 | 𝐁 𝐄

Sᴜᴄᴄᴇssғᴜʟ - 26

⚠️ Trigger warning : Suicide attempts ⚠️

Billie's POV

This blade can do so much.

This tiny little blade.

So much power in front of me.

So much power in my hand.

Soon to be in my skin.

But how deep do I go?

Do I go until the pain is too much?

Until my skin wont stop bleeding and it hurts to touch?

Until I can see the veins through my bloody wrist?

Or just until I decide I can see the burning flames of hell as Satan calls for me.

My place on earth shall be no more.

The pain I cause will come to a stop.

My existence will be of no irritation to anyone.

And yet I cant shake this consistent feeling of guilt as though I am being selfish.

Everyone wants this and so do I yet they tell me to stay.

For what?

The money?

The fame?

Or the thought in your mind that convinces you as though you love me.

But you don't.

I'm surrounded by people who love and care about me yet I still feel so alone.

No shoulder to cry on.

No lips to kiss.

No body to hug.

Emotions are not physical.

But it hurts more than the blade.

So much more.

To blame anyone but myself would be wrong.

I am the reason of my sadness.

I cannot recall the last time I was genuinely happy.

Or more specifically, the last time someone asked me if I was genuinely happy.

The attention means absolutely nothing to me.

The care does.

I'm alone.

No surprise there.

No one here but me and a murderer.

My thoughts in specific.

I call her a murder.

I'll be the first and last victim.

Taking the sharp blade of which was hidden under my bed, amongst many others, I sighed and braced myself for the pain I was about to experience.

This'll only sting for a second.

I'm leaving soon.

The blade slowly glided against my pale skin before I added more pressure.

Blood immediately began to leak from my wrist like water from a faucet.

More and more began to drip onto my bare thighs as I stared down at it.