why am I so lonely pt1 💅

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sus

please tell me if i mess up on a word or some shit like that it helps a lot im also bad with tenses so yeah tell me where i mess up <3

TW
social anxiety, eating disorder, sleep deprivation (i bet thats not a word oh well ig), self harm, panic attacks, minimalistic gore
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I had just got off of a call with Phil and tommy. We were streaming bed wars and I won like usual. Usually I would log onto hypixel and farm potatoes but I really didn't have the energy at this moment in time. one hour of farming potatoes can't change that much. Right? 'I forgot to take my ADHD meds again' i thought as I dragged myself downstairs to take them. By the time I got upstairs it was 5:00pm I must have zoned out again.

TIME SKIP (because author doesnt know what to put O= )

My phone started to ring, the voices (you yes you) telling me to do different things some telling me to answer some telling me to ignore it and that I need to farm potatoes without any distranctions (distractions) and others saying random things I can never understand. I'll answered it.

"Hallo!" I spoke, my monotone voice hiding any signs of sadness or happines which always made me feel better knowing that even if they did care they wouldn't be able to work out if i'm okay or not. "Hey mate, I was just checking in because we haven't really talked of stream for a while!" phil told him, it was phil the man he felt the safest talking to but didn't today for some reason. "yeah I guess your right" I said. "You alraight mate?" he asked. "Yeah sorry phil!" I told the only father figure i have. The one thing chat and I have in comon I noticed.

"Mate, Will and I planned to fly to America with maybe Tommy if his parents allow him to see you and kristen (MUMZA NOOOOO) you okay with that?"

shit.

"y-yeah sure when?"

Why? Techno. WHY?

"Next wednesday if thats alright with you? well im not sure abiut will it could be from tonight till next week and kristen doesn't live that far away from you so it won't be that hard to visit both of you," Phil added.

(Idk where Kristen or Techno live in America so deal with it also i know kristen is in san fran at the moment well last i checked)

"Yeah, you should probably ask Tommy though"

'Techno if they are staying they're going to notice your arms, thighs and eating patterns they already know about your sleeping pattern what are you gonna do about this one' One of my voices told me.

"yeah, yeah whatever" I said under my breath hoping Phil heard but it's me of course he heard.

"Tech is someone there with you?" Phil said with concern lacing his voice.

"No!" I answered almost shouting"I was just talking to someone on hypixel," yeah yeah I know i'm such a smart-ass.

"oh- okay I'm going to message Tommy to see if he would be allowed to come,"

"k, bye Phil" I say as I leave the call.

Geez techno you could atleast sound happy. Your best friends are flying out to see you next week lighten up!

Time skip to bathroom (SELF HARM ILL PUT A ¤ WHEN OVER)

I walked into the dim lit bathroom heading towards the sink. The bathroom wasn't that big it was enough for everything needed in there but wasn't very spacey either. just enough for me which is good because it's just me living here and will always be just me unless i move out.

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