TW. DEATH, ED, GRIEF, SADNESS, DADNOBLADE ANGST
I don't wanna talk right now
It's been three days since he got the call. it was inevitable. He knew it'll happen but it hurt even more now its happened
I just wanna watch TV
He wants to do something to forget about him. He wouldnt want him to be like this but what does the man whos dead get to say about this when he doesnt know what its like since he's the one dead
I'll stay in the pool and drown
He thinks maybe if i drown I'll be with him he knows it wont work but it would be better than being trapped alone in a house without being able to bother his favourite person
So I don't have to watch you leave
Yes he knows he shouldve said goodbye when he was asked to but he couldnt bring himself to let the person he loves leave so early
I put on Survivor just to watch somebody suffer
He watched up as it was their favorite movie to watch together. how was he supposed to explain to his fans why hes suddenly so obsessed with a film thats been out for years
Maybe I should get some sleep
The nights hes stayed up crying because of his dads death have become outnumbered. the number goes into the billions and it hasnt even been that long
Sinking in the sofa while they all betray each other
The servers a mess. He knows they all deal with grief in their own ways but he needs his friends and they arent there
What's the point of anything?
He questions his life daily. Staying at his grandparents has been hard but he knows that they dont mean to be rude theyre just grieving aswell and maybe if something were different his dad wouldnt be dead.
All of my friends are missing again
Slowly all his friends stopped messaging and all he could think is great im loosing them aswell he knows he souldnt but he cant help it
That's what happens when you fall in love
He loved his dad. He loves his dad. He'll love his dad forever in life or death he just wishes the time together was longer.
You don't have the time, you leave them all behind
Time is such a stupid concept. it takes the people you love away from you without letting you spend more time woth them
You tell yourself it's fine, you're just in love
The love was platonic obviously but he still loved his dad so much that it felt like his heart was being crushed in his hand like something from OUAT
Don't know where you are right now
Tommy wishes his dad could see him he'd be so proud of him for making it so far without him but he probably cant see him. Tommy knows its not like spectator mode but goddamn he wishes it was
Did you see me on TV?
Even though Tommy was dealing with the death of his best friend, his dad, the other side to the bedrock duo he still stood on that stage and performed for his fans the best ever
I'll try not to starve myself
He stopped eating for a while but that was picked up on quickly by his grandparents because of their wierd obsession with making sure eveyone ate. it was wierd but he was grateful that it existed.
Just because you're mad at me
He knows Techno would be mad at him for not eating but he also knows he'd be grateful for his parents to notice.
And I'll be in denial for at least a little while
denial. yes its a stage of grief but that doesn't change the feeling that hes not dead and that its just one massive prank and he'll show up back at home at some point and everything will go back to normal
What about the plans we made?
They never got to go to disneyland and universal, visit dream and have a 4/4 sbi meetup and now itll be a 3/3 sbi meetup
The internet's gone wild watching movie stars on trial
The world around us is going to shit and then his dad straight up goes and dies
While they're overturning Roe v. Wade
you want an abortion? no thats illegal. if its illegal to kill a baby whats next? its illegal for someone to die? theyll be arresting his dads dead corpse soon
Now all of my friends are missing again
even his friends wont talk to him. the worlds against him he knows it
'Cause that's what happens when you fall in love
he loved his dad but now hes dead and the people around him can't even be there for him
You don't have the time, you leave them all behind
He just put on an invisible mask and acts like hes fine because he is fine. he always has been. he always will be. He's Tommyinnit ofcourse he's alright.
And you tell yourself it's fine, you're just in love
He's gonna get over it. its just death its normal to happen
And I don't get along with anyone
Everyone he once got on with have become cold towards him Hes just a reminder of a man that once stood but is now 6feet under
Maybe I'm the problem
It's all his fault that his dads dead. he keeps telling himself
Maybe I'm the problem
the problem is him it always will be no matter whats happening he's the problem.
Hello my lovelies <3
im sorry if you cried :( i cried aswell. a. lot.
go stream TV by Billie Eilish its awsome. i heard her sing it live and the chills i get hearing it now when its released is scary but awsome (the ending jjshebdusbsn)
bye i love you all <33333
remember to eat and drink <3
