Leave What Was Found

22: What Now

Avery had successfully avoided Julian, or as she called him when they were kids: JJ, all week. There was so much going on. She had found out that firstly, her mother had cheated on her father with her uncle, and secondly, that she and Julian definitely needed to talk about their strange moment at The Falls.

She had yet to confront her uncle about what his side of the story was and at this point, she was not sure if she wanted to know. It was the same with Julian. What was she supposed to say to him? It had been years since they had shared their first kiss and Avery had subsequently disappeared.

Avery was so delusional. Like Julian would even be interested in her. He had a girlfriend, and she had...well whatever she and Archer were, there was nothing between her and Julian. Still, whenever she saw him in the hall, all she could think about were the countless hours they spent perfecting their layups and petting the sharks and stingrays in the aquarium. Old memories kept flooding back and it was hard for Avery to ignore them.

Avery glanced over at Nikki's bed. She could not hurt Nikki. She would have to squash down whatever it was she felt for him, whether she liked it or not. She would not hurt anymore people. She could not be like her mother.

There was a knock at the door. Avery ignored it, Nikki, Cole, Brady, and Julian were at basketball practice. Anyone else who would be knocking on the door would be looking for Nikki anyway. The knocking continued however and finally, Avery went up and answered the door. She swung the door open ready to yell at whoever was being so persistent, but her angry expression turned sour when she saw it was Julian.

"Nikki is at basketball practice," she said immediately trying to close the door.

Julian rolled his eyes and caught the door. He pushed through with ease and walked into the room. Avery grumbled complaints abud closed the door behind him. He sat down on the couch and Avery took a seat on her bed.

"Why aren't you at practice?" she asked, trying to fill the awkward silence that had formed between them.

He shrugged. "You have been avoiding me all week, and I figured it was a good time." Julian glanced over at her. "Why aren't you at practice?" he asked. "I mean ever since you came back, I have been dying to know why you haven't joined the team, I thought your dad-"

"Don't talk about my dad," she snapped, cutting him off.

He studied her expression and then nodded. "Okay, sorry."

She sighed and looked over at him. "I'm barely five foot two, and I'm done growing, there is not much hope for me."

"That's not entirely true," he said but it was a weak argument and they both knew it. He dropped the idea all together.

"What do you want from me, Julian?" she asked after the silence became overwhelming.

He opened his mouth to respond, but then closed it. He looked confused by the question. "What if I don't want anything? What if I just want to pick things up from where we left off as kids?"

Avery bit her lip, she knew they were both thinking about their kiss on her couch before she left. "That would require something we don't have anymore."

Julian frowned. "Which would be what?" he asked.

Avery sighed. "Julian, I can't have any kind of relationship with you without thinking about what I put you through when I just disappeared with my dad. I keep thinking about what probably happened to you while I was gone and it kills me." Avery looked away for a bit.

"We can talk about all that happened," he offered quietly, looking over at her. Avery glanced down at her silver pendant. She touched the stingray and was reminded of the similar one of a shark under his shirt.

Avery shook her head. "It's better we stay bitter towards each other."

His eyebrows furrowed. "Why?" Julian asked, clearly taken aback.

"Because if you and I forgive each other. . ." Avery faltered. She looked shyly at the ground. "I don't think we could stay just friends," she finally finished, her eyes drifting to Nikki's side of the room.

"I'll break up with her," he said immediately, already knowing what she was thinking about.

"Don't," Avery said back equally as fast. "You can't, she cares about you and you are probably better off with her anyway."

Julian scoffed. "Okay first, she cares about everyone, and second, we don't know that because you left before we could have had a real relationship."

Avery stared at her hands. "We can't," she repeated.

He stared at her in confusion. "Is it because of Archer?" he asked. "Don't tell me you fell for that loser."

She stared at him, obviously she had not, but what else was she supposed to say? Admitting she had feelings for Julian would hurt Nikki and Avery could not do that. She refused to hurt anyone anymore.

"Maybe I did," Avery said. Her voice was tight and filled with pain.

"I don't believe you," he said, staring right back at her.

"It doesn't matter, it is not going to happen," she whispered.

He stood up and angrily went over to the door.

"Running from something that scares you, huh? I don't know why you think you're like your mom. You're more like your dad than you think," he said angrily before leaving.

Avery felt tears well up in her eyes. She angrily slammed the door to the bathroom and stared at herself in front of the mirror. Screw Julian. What did he know anyway? She wiped her tears away and tried to distract herself. She couldn't let Nikki see her like this. If she questioned her, Avery was not sure how she would handle it.

Instead, Avery wiped her eyes and threw some cold water on her face. She escaped the dorm and went to lounge on the first floor. Tucked into a corner, Avery hid from the world. It was what she did best.