Fast Forward

Chapter 20: A While Isn't Long Enough

Chapter 20: A While Isn't Long Enough

Jay gently takes my face into his hands, meeting my distressed gaze. He touches my cheek and makes me look at him, quickly figuring out what's going on after first assessing the situation. "Keep your eyes on me, Aqueela. You're having a panic attack. You're not dying. You're going to be fine, alright? I'm right here."

Wheezing, I frantically shake my head at him, still short of breath. Involuntary tears fill my eyes and I suddenly feel hot all over.

"Hey," he says calmly, caressing the side of my neck, trying to soothe me, "I need you to breathe, okay? Just breathe."

"I-I can't," I whimper, my chest hurting from how fast my heart is beating.

"You absolutely can," he tells me quietly, keeping a level-head. "We need to get you out of this state. Try to focus on your five senses and not on what's happening. What can you see, hear, feel, smell, taste?"

I nod and attempt to concentrate on everything he just asked. It takes me a few seconds but I notice my heart rate start to lower and as fast as the attack came, it leaves just as fast. The dizziness, warmth, anxiety, and chest pain evaporate into pure exhaustion, leaving me fatigued and out of it.

After a few minutes of silence, I suck in a deep breath and exhale in relief, able to breathe again. Oxygen fills my lungs and the feeling is indescribable. Max's phone strangulation was a joke compared to this.

"How did you know?" I eventually ask Jay once I'm sure I've recovered.

"I've experienced a panic attack or two before," he tells me, breaking my heart in the process – who was there for him when he thought he was dying?

"I'm sorry," I reply, not knowing what else to say to him.

He chuckles, amused and caught off guard by my words. "I'm alright but let's focus on you, okay? This isn't about me. You feeling any better?"

"Well, let's put it this way, I am...but only because of your electric blue eyes, your tranquil voice, your warmth, your cologne, and lastly, hopefully, you on my lips," I answer him, referring to the five senses that I focused on earlier.

He grins in realization and pecks my lips, granting me my wish, before leaning his forehead against mine. "Glad I could help, even if it was indirectly," he whispers and kisses me again.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Jay," I admit, feeling the slightest bit vulnerable for saying it but still, it's true. Jay is my real-life hero; he has saved me from so many things and I don't even think he knows it.

He smiles at me sadly, understanding my fear. He suddenly leans forward and embraces me tightly from his kneeling position in front of me. "Lucky for you, you never have to find out," he assures me in confidence.

I smile against his chest, collapsing into him while finding solace in his arms – there's no other place that I'd rather be right now or ever. "Lucky me," I hum, content, agreeing with him.

"I mean...until death do we part, obviously," he adds teasingly, unintentionally upsetting me.

I'm reminded of what Zac just revealed to me and I instantly tense up. "He killed their baby," I suddenly speak life into my thoughts. "And he nearly killed them."

Max and Bells are precious to me; they've been through so much with me and have stuck it out with me through everything – I can't imagine life without them.

Jay pulls away from me and nods, acknowledging it, deep sorrow flashing through his eyes. "He told me everything."

My gaze falls on Zac when he steps into the room, his eyes still red from either his drugs or his tears. I automatically frown. I don't want to be in his presence or anywhere near him. I don't want to see him or hear him. He's a mess and I just want him gone.