Fast Forward

Chapter 16: Damaged Goods

Chapter 16: Damaged Goods

It's later in the day and I've successfully recovered from our 'run' but I'm now I'm in a state over something else.

I frantically call his number again but it just goes to voicemail. It feels like this is the millionth time that I've tried reaching him. He's obviously put his phone off. My hands are shaking and I feel like I'm on the verge of a panic attack.

I rub my temples, keeping my tears at bay. "He's still not answering, Jay," I say into the silent room, seeking advice, comfort, anything really at this point – I'm desperate and I'm frustrated and I'm exhausted from worry.

Jay's soft gaze of concern is enough to make me cry. He steps forward and embraces me tightly. "Breathe, Aqueela. We'll find him," he assures me. "I'm as scared as you are but you need to understand that Zac makes his own decisions and sometimes, we have to let people make their own mistakes too, even if we see it coming from a long way off."

Greg pats me on the back, not sure how to help. "I'm sorry, Aqueela. Zac should never have left such a distressing message on your phone and then not answer any of your calls or tell you where he is. He's always struck me as selfish and irresponsible."

He's not any of those things. Zac...he's just so hopelessly lost. Earlier, I opened a voice note from him where he's telling me that he's in serious trouble and that he's afraid something disastrous is going to happen tonight if he doesn't get out right now. I can hear that he's stoned but I can also hear that he truly needs me, that he truly needs someone to be there for him, someone to save him from himself.

"Jay..." I drawl warily, afraid to voice my thoughts in case they become real, "what if he overdoses before we find him?"

Jay's quiet for a moment before pushing back from me ever so slightly so that he can look me in the eyes. "Whatever happens to him, and I sincerely hope to God that nothing does, you need to realize that if anything does happen, it's not on you. You've tried to help him in the past. He seems drawn to the darker side of life and that's not your fault. Still, I don't want you fretting over this. We're going to find him, okay?"

I suck in a deep breath and try to control my racing nerves. "Why does he do this to me? Why does he insist on making me feel like this? It's not fair."

"It isn't fair," Jay agrees with me. "But this is a drug addict we're talking about. Zac's not currently in his right frame of mind and the last thing that he's thinking about is others. I've been there. Right now, the Zac we know doesn't exist and he's not going to exist again until he gets off of those pills for good."

"We're going to help him, Aqueela. I promise," Greg adds, seeking to calm me down.

I nod. "I know. I'm sorry. I guess I'm just a little wired from all the coffee I drank earlier." I don't even like coffee.

"You're allowed to feel the way you feel, Aqueela," my fiancé tells me gently. "Drugs don't just break people; they break friends and families too."

"Why did he have to start in the first place?" I ask aloud, the thought bugging me to no avail. "Maybe I should try to call Mia or Laiken?" I'm sure either of them might be able to help him more than us.

"Don't call Laiken just yet. Mase told me that his football interview with the NFL is today. Let's first find Zac and assess the situation before disturbing Laik. I don't want anything to throw him off of his game," Jay carefully reasons with me, thinking of how he'd feel in Laiken's predicament. "But I can try Mia again if you want?"

"No, I'll call her. You pour your focus into finding out where Zac is," I suggest. I just want to know if he's okay, that's it. Why can't he just pick up the phone and let me know if he's fine or not?!