Even the Dark Side Can't Take Our Memories

Chapter 9 - Three Words

Ahsoka sat numbly on the roof of the Temple, staring at the spot where Barriss had stood at the edge. She wasn't angry at Barriss, but rather, upset... and confused... but most of all, just numb. Ahsoka hadn't been prepared for something like this; Barriss and her had never before fought, and Ahsoka never suspected that Barriss had those opinions about the Jedi.

Ahsoka wanted to run after Barriss, but she felt like she couldn't. Like it would just make things worse; Ahsoka wanted to ask Barriss if she still loved Ahsoka, if she was angry at Ahsoka, or if she even cared about Ahsoka anymore at all... the Togruta sighed. And then a wet, salty tear slipped from the corner of her eye and down the bridge of her nose; that first tear seemed to have knocked down a dam blocking a waterfall, and suddenly, Ahsoka couldn't stop them from coming; she sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed...

***

"Snips? You okay?" Ahsoka looked up at her Master. For some reason, the recognition that she may not be fine just made everything worse. She nodded shortly and said,

"I'll - be right back," then ran from the command center. In the corridor beyond, she grabbed her stomach, trying to stop the sharp sobs escaping from her lips.

After tidying herself up and taking deep breaths, Ahsoka walked formally back into the room. Anakin was looking at her in extreme concern.

"Ahsoka, I really don't think you're okay." Ahsoka knew that replying would betray her tears, and so took deep, calming breaths, trying not to let her emotions overcome her. "Hey, I haven't seen you hanging out with Barriss as much as you used to." Ahsoka's eyes widened - oh no. "Did something happen?" Ahsoka shrugged, swallowing hard. "If something did... my advice is just - if you really care about her, trying to figure it out can't do any harm, right? Just talk to her."

"But - what if she doesn't want to talk to me?" The words had slipped from Ahsoka's mouth without permission, and Ahsoka clapped a hand over her mouth. "I-I mean - maybe she does, I don't -"

"Snips, hey. Just go up to her, and tell her how you feel." Ahsoka took a deep breath and nodded, then threw her arms around Anakin. He seemed shocked at the gesture, but returned the hug. "You got this, Snips."

"Thanks, Skyguy." It was nice to know that Ahsoka had at least one supporter.

***

Ahsoka hurried along the halls of the cruiser, searching for Barriss. She knew that the Mirialan was on the gargantuan ship somewhere. She didn't want to contact her through comlink, because then Barriss may try and avoid Ahsoka; she hoped that wouldn't have been the case if she had contacted her...

Ahsoka finally found Barriss meditating in one of the ship's barracks. With her hand on the doorframe, she watched Barriss's peaceful face; for whatever reason, finding Barriss so happy and calm upset Ahsoka after all the panicked crying she'd been through.

"Barriss." Barriss's eyes popped open, and she opened her mouth to speak. "Barriss, wait. Don't - don't say anything yet. I just have to tell you some stuff first." Barriss nodded, and crossed her arms over her chest patiently. "I-I love you, Barriss. I love you, I love you, I love you." Tears began dripping down Ahsoka's face as she tried to cover up her own shock at the words she'd said. The three, simple words that meant so much, that Ahsoka hadn't consciously realized until then. "I'm so sorry that I wouldn't hear you out the other day, but I love you. I do. So much."

"Ahsoka -"

"No, wait. I see your point of view, I do - and everyone has a right to their own opinion. And I had no right to - to say that yours was wrong. And I love you. And I'm so sorry, I should have heard you out; but I didn't, and I don't know why. Just - Barriss, could you please forgive me?"

"Ahsoka. I love you too." A grin creeped its way up Ahsoka's face, a pink tinge along with it. The girls ran into each other's arms, and Ahsoka sobbed into Barriss's shoulder.

"I'm so sorry-"

"No, Bair, you have nothing to be sorry for," Ahsoka said, her arms still wrapped around Barriss.

"I love you so much."

"I love you, I love you, I love you." Ahsoka couldn't get enough of those three words; they felt so right on her tongue, and here, with Barriss... "I love you."

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