Even the Dark Side Can't Take Our Memories

Chapter 8 - The Truth of Warnings

This last memory has Ahsoka shaking. She remembers the blissful times when a week away from Barriss felt like years. And when they promised each other they would be together forever...

Ahsoka takes deep, calming breaths - but what is the point of meditating as the Jedi taught her anymore? Soon enough, she might not even be a Jedi. Unless Barriss sees the truth. Unless Barriss sobs uncontrollably over the lost memories Ahsoka can't bear to forget. Unless Barriss loves Ahsoka enough to turn back for her...

Ahsoka can't just desperately tell Barriss her true feelings between the bookshelves of the Temple Library anymore... the memories that the Jedi encompass are just too much for Ahsoka to bear. Everything about the Jedi reminds Ahsoka of Barriss. Simply the fact that they were both Jedi, and that the Temple is where so many of Ahsoka's best memories with Barriss take place - but it's more than that. Barriss always had questioned the Jedi and their ways; Ahsoka remembers it now. One of the bad memories... one of the few that Ahsoka has been trying to forget.

***

Ahsoka leaned against the center spire of the Jedi Temple roof, her arms wrapped around the Mirialan in her lap. The roof of this sacred building had become a sort of go-to spot for Ahsoka and Barriss; no one else came up there and it had such a beautiful view.

Ahsoka smiled contentedly as Barriss leaned her head back into Ahsoka's chest.

"Ahsoka?" came Barriss's lovely voice, with the hint of an accent that Ahsoka loved so much. "What do you think of the Jedi?" Ahsoka was shocked at this question; what kind of an answer did Barriss expect of her?

"Uh - what do I think of them?" Barriss nodded.

"Well - um - I guess it's nice that there's the role of peacekeepers of the galaxy. It's important."

"Yes, but what do you think of them morally? And they don't do a wonderful job of fulfilling the peacekeeper role." Ahsoka chuckled. "What is it?"

"Oh, I don't know. These questions just seem... unlike you." Ahsoka could feel Barriss stiffening in her lap. "Well - anyways. I mean, I guess they're pretty good morally. They're one with the Force, right? And we protect the galaxy and its peace, and try our hardest."

"Yes, but trying our hardest isn't enough. And the Jedi rarely even do that! There are so many suffering people in the galaxy who need our help, but rather, we sacrifice them for 'the cause'! Those innocent people had nothing to do with 'the cause'! They didn't submit themselves for sacrifice! And what even is this cause of ours? Waging war in the galaxy at the loss of so many people when we are supposed to be keeping peace? What have the Jedi become, Ahsoka?" Barriss said, her voice rising.

"Hey, Bair, calm down."

"I can't calm-"

"Barriss. The Jedi didn't start this war. As a part of the Republic, it's our duty to help fight in it-"

"It is not-"

"Sh. We aren't fighting to cause damage and turmoil; the Jedi's goal in this war is to end it, and bring peace and prosperity to the galaxy once more!" Barriss stood up abruptly from Ahsoka's lap.

"Well, I suppose we have different opinions on the matter," she said, her fists clenched by her sides.

"Barriss - wait - I didn't mean - I see your point of view. I just think you're looking at this the wrong way !"

"The wrong way? So your view is automatically correct? On whose authority, Ahsoka? Yours? See, this is the problem of the Jedi that will ultimately be their downfall. They are always so sure and comfortable in the belief that they are in the right; that their view is the correct one. But just take a look at the clone wars - we are no better than the servants of the Dark Side."

"Barriss!" Ahsoka cried in horror, as Barriss stalked off to the edge of the roof. "Barriss, you're scaring me!"

"Well if the truth scares you, Ahsoka, I suggest you take a closer look at it; so that you'll be prepared when it's right under your nose."

***

Ahsoka wonders if Barriss's words had been a warning; was Ahsoka's lost love planning this all along?

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Let me know what you think in the comments! I know the picture at the top doesn't entirely apply... don't worry, Barriss isn't evil yet. In this fic at least.