Take Flight

Sunrise

The skies are clear.

Clouds and hints of darkness have fled, washed away by a ray of colorful and warm light. Yellow, red, pink, orange shades stroke my cheeks as I let myself drown deeper, but only to find myself swallowed by the fresh cotton balls sugarcoating my path, kindly brushing my skin as I breath in and out, my heart just now beating.

I was deceived. I promised myself and my heart that such thing would never happen again, but I was deceived by my own intrusive thoughts, the destructive and misleading words chanted in my fragile mind at all minute. No it isn't the light scaring me no more, if anything I could say I am worried about my own thoughts, they are the traitors.

Why would the idea of casting out the light, the warmness and the colors, out of my sight ever run through my head, even faster than a tiger, when I could own them all ? Nothing is more beautiful than a cleared path in the Heavens. A peaceful and quiet walk on nothing but air, a light heart, and some light steps. I am yet to find any of the immense blackness that used to be my whole world, my universe, the only one I ever knew. It faded away in less time that I would've needed to disappear into this large expense of blind and silent chaos, letting my eyes see the color for what felt like the first time, savoring every second spent under the magical touch of the ray of colors lighting up my heart.

There is no such thing as fearing the light anymore. Light is good. Light is warm. Letting it in only brings peace and every form of happiness you could find is within the light. It is colorful, cheerful and I finally feel full, filled by all that used to terrify me, for no worthy reason.

I am floating now, but not without a goal, not without sightseeing what my path is. I am not lost anymore, storming without aim like a whirl of darkness and emptiness, but I clearly discern the way that my heart wants to take. I now choose where I want to be headed to. I know where home is, and that alone fills the void that I have carried in me for longer than I can remember.

As long as I trust it, I can let it all in, every inch of my body now covered in the sweet rays of light. I can let Her in, even more than I have ever let it happen before. This leads to the ultimate goal of existence, not blinding myself to the beauty of light, to the beauty of the uncertain and of love.

Every bit of blackness I used to drown myself in seems to be disappearing from my mind even, erased in my memory, forever I'm hopeful. Light is a killer, I maybe was right, but if I was surely wrong about one thing, it is what it killed. It was not me it destroyed slowly until the choking of death would catch me, it was the lack of trust I had for light itself. It killed all doubts about the benevolent acts it said to me would occur if I let it in, and so I did.  I wish I hadn't been scared, then the jump would've been so much easier, quicker, like the light flight of a white feather in the spring breeze. My heart would never have been heavy and dark, filled with sorrow and fear, but made of light and colors, even before I met Her.

But now it is. It is light and I can sleep peacefully in the white sheets like soft and perfect white clouds. I can smile without it feeling like a burden. My body and mind are alive again. They feel alive.

The skies are clear.