Take Flight

Kid

"Do you know.... it's been exactly a year since the day we first met."

Angelina looks up to you, letting her book drop on her thighs.

"Well, actually it was the night we met, but I guess that term still works, right ?"

"Oh please. Don't mention it."

"No, no, it was..."

"Please don't."

"No but it was cute, though, you..."

"I threw up on your shoes honey. How can you think of it as cute ?"

"No, that's... Okay. You seemed... I don't know. Fragile ? Vulnerable ?"

"Wasted ?"

You chuckle.

"Right. I mean the way you kept on mentioning Maddox. The fact that your password was his birthday. That was adorable. Don't try and tell me otherwise."

"Alright. I'll let you have this one. I did look terrible though."

"Never one second in your life have you ever looked terrible Angelina."

"I looked a mess. I usually can drink more than the average person, and I literally spat my guts out in front of you. Sometimes I wonder how you didn't run away from me the first second you saw me."

"You know I've seen worse. And I've been in worse situations. You've witnessed."

"And I don't want you to mention these. Not if it makes you feel bad."

"I'm okay talking about it Angelina."

"Are you ?"

Your gaze moves from her to the floor.

"The light are still off Y/N."

"I know."

"It's me. I love you. I would never judge you."

"I know !" you snap at her.

Her mouth slightly opens as she's taken aback by your curt reaction, and she moves on the couch, sitting a couple of inches further away from you. Your heart hurts a little as you see her do so but you can't help but understand.

"I'm sorry. I am," you speak softly while covering her hand with yours, "It's just... It's not about you. It's never about you. I just can't deal with someone looking at me, looking at my body... The world is a shameful place and I have felt it everywhere I've ever been at, and if there's one thing that has hurt me more than anything, it's seeing the genuine reactions of people when faced to me without makeup, filters or clothes on. I can't tell you how scared it got me. And I can't tell you exactly that I'm scared of judgment, but way more of what I can do when faced to judgment. So... I am sorry. It might not be what you're expecting from your partner but I can't help it. Not yet. Not even with you. And you know how I feel about you. What I feel for you."

"I know. I know... Oh honey..."

She wraps her arms around you and draws you to her, hugging you as right as she can, making you feel whole. She doesn't let go of you but her head moves so that she can look at you in the eyes.

"You're one of the two greatest things that have ever happened to me. I've never loved anyone the way I love you. I could tell you that every minute of your life, and it feels like I do but..." she softly laughs, "I could never care less. Because you're it. You're the one for me and I'm never changing my mind. So we're doing this. We're going to do this and if it has to be on your terms, I don't give a fuck about it, it could be on anybody's terms, I wouldn't give a damn because all I want is you. It doesn't matter how. I don't need lights to know I love you or desire you. I would never need that. But you know that, right ? You know it."

"Yes I think I know. I think I do."

Her hands cup your face and you see all the warmth in her ocean eyes and only that makes your heart flutter.

"I could never love anybody more than I love you Angelina."

She chuckles and sits straight again, her hands leaving your skin.

"Really ? Not even your own child ?"

A thousand thoughts flood in at once and you can't seem to be able to see anymore. What is she saying ? What child is she talking about ? Could she be pregnant ? Yes, of course, a couple of lesbians, that would make sense. This woman makes you go crazy, and your brain never seems to function correctly whenever you're around her. But then what ?

She softly grabs you hand, cutting all your questions off, the sweetest smile ever on her lips, obviously not oblivious of the chaos reigning in your head.

"No, we haven't conceived any child, I wish that was possible, but I think that, as crazy as it may sound, they will legalize same sex marriages before they find out how two women could conceive on their own."

You look at her, blinking frenetically.

"I am talking about Maddox."

Mad ? Does she mean...

"He already sees you as his mother, he loves you the way a son loves his mother. There's nothing in your relationship that doesn't scream parenthood. The only thing left is a piece of paper and a signature, the only thing left is to make it official, but you are already his mom Y/N. You are."

"Do... Does he really..."

"Don't act as if he had never called you mama before."

"Alright, alright but I..."

You are suddenly missing the words to respond to anything you've just heard. You ? Being the mother of a human being ? How could that ever be real ? You always thought you could never have a child of your own, you thought you despised them, but now ? You know for sure that this would make your life even brighter than it already gotten in the last year.

"You just have to ask him."

"I... Wow."

"I think he'll answer by saying 'You're silly, this is already my mommy' in his own language, but still..."

You both burst out in laughters but you can feel the tears coming up in your eyes, and Angelina wraps an arm around you again to press your body against hers. She tilts her head and looks at you with a smile. It's different. It's special. You're only waiting for her to say the words, even though you don't know what they're gonna be yet, you know they will be special.

"But how would you feel about having a newborn with me ?"

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heyyyyyyy.... i'm alive yall ouch :')
anyway this ff is a lot of "istg ily" but honestly that's rlly what a mentally unstable overthinker needs so ig-
also i hate that i know how this story is going but i can't share it with anymore but i- huh- yeah you'll see ig
so yeah i hope that was alright, probably not the best update but it keeps the story going and it's important that happens so that the rest of the story and it's end (yeah sorry-) can happen
alright yeah hope you enjoyed-
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(tw maybe) also for a personal update that nobody will read, and hanging for dear life to... well life lmao. i don't want to go to college, and the only reasons why i'm still alive are my girlfriend, my friends and my family. throw the rest to the trash. now i just need to go and find another way to destroy myself that isn't dying. sorry for the rant. kinda.