Take Flight

Death Isn't The End

You walk out of the kitchen both drinks in hand. The house is silent, seemingly bigger deprived of the joy and screaming of Angelina's son now asleep. Every step you take inside the mansion feels like a dream, but the silence makes it different, and you wouldn't be able to tell whether it's good or not. You just let your eyes linger on every detail of the rooms you walk through, always finding a new one each and every time, painting a picture of what you wish to call home. The moon is almost full, the skies are clear and the stars shining through the bay window you finally find yourself standing by. You carefully open it, afraid that any noise could wake Maddox, and take a step inside the moonlit fairytale-like garden. Each glance is a wonder, for the garden there's no question as to whether nighttime makes it feel better or not, it's obvious that it does.

Angelina is sat under the marble gazebo, her back facing you and her hair flying with the fragile wind. Her figure stands out, a dark shape in the middle of the pure light of the moon, yet she seems brighter to you than anything else in the world. After a relatively long stare, you finally walk up to her, barely succeeding in holding the drinks as you're so choked up by the beauty of the moment. And for a second, you think you get a glimpse of what true happiness is, if you hadn't found it already. Only a few inches away from the one who makes your heart alive, you straighten your arm so as to hand her the glass which she takes a second to seize in a hurried way, spilling the whiskey.

"Are you okay ?"

Her head turns and you are met with a smile, however you know her too well now to know that even the greatest actress cannot fake a smile to the ones she cares about. It's about the light, the fire in her eyes. It isn't flamboyant. She isn't happy.

"Don't bother answer. You know you can't lie to me."

She lets her head drop and softly sighs, her brunette locks falling on the face you cherish so much. Through the dark hair you still can see her eyes shine, the glimmer of the threatening tears.

"So what's wrong ? I don't think I misbehaved, your family didn't seem to hate me... or so it seemed... Is it me..."

"No, of course they loved you. There's nothing wrong about you," Angelina quickly cuts you off before your thoughts get too dark, "It isn't... God, I really need this drink."

You both chuckle and you hand her yours that she downs in half a second after she finished her own. She softly and slowly puts the two glasses on the ground, visibly thinking about what wording to use for what she wants to say, or have to.

"If you want another you can, mine was only lemonade," you whisper to make her relax.

She looks at you and smile, and you can see all the love and warmth so specific to her in her eyes.

"I'll be okay. I will."

"Promise ? Because we can only afford so much mental instability in this couple."

"Yes, yes I'm alright," she laughs.

She stays silent and stares at the moon, a sweet portrait that you know you will remember for as long as you live.

"So what is going on ?" you ask softly, your voice almost sounding like a whisper.

Angelina swallows hard next to you and the muscles of her neck are so tight they're probably harder than wood. You know how hard she tries to keep her tears in and it breaks your heart for a moment that she won't let herself be vulnerable even with you.

"It's okay, you can cry. You don't have to tell me, we can just go to sleep. But you know you can be vulnerable around me, right ?"

"I know. I do know that. It just is hard. But you know it don't you ?"

"Well I had an anxiety attack just a few hours ago so I guess you've seen me be vulnerable."

"You know what I mean."

Your silence alone is an answer to her statement.

"It's even harder to talk about this with you darling."

"Why that ?"

"You've lost so much in your life and..."

Angelina is choked up, her voice dies right off her lips and you can see the teardrops falling as she closes her eyelids tightly. You carefully take her hand and rub it gently, not so much waiting for her to keep going anymore.

"My mom was my best friend. My whole life. But you know."

"I do know."

"Well," she takes a deep breath before looking at you, her eyes red from her crying, "She has cancer."

You don't say anything. You know far too well that now that she's dropped the bomb, she will tell you more.

"Ovarian and breast cancer," she smiles sadly, "It's been three years already and I..."

You tighten your grip around her hand, reassuring her, making her know you're here and that she's safe.

"Seeing her tonight, with everybody that I love, my family, my home... It just was such a happy moment, a happy night and now that I think about it, all I can think is 'What if it was the last time ? What if I lost her now ?'," she takes a pause, her hands shaking and her voice as well, "She's just... She just means too much to me, I don't think I can afford to lose her. Every time I see her I think it's the last and it breaks me more and more everyday. Thinking about life without her... Is it even living anymore ? But of course I have you, I have Maddox, and my brother but... My mom, she's..."

"Special."

She looks at you, her ocean eyes drowned in tears, the sad smile still painted on her face, her beautiful face.

"Yes. Yes... I can't believe that death might be the one thing that awaits her, it is not fair, it shouldn't be her."

"I know. I know."

"Why ?"

"I don't know. Life is just... full of surprises I guess. Both good and bad. But you know, death shouldn't be that scary. We shouldn't see it as scary, dark, bad... I mean obviously it hurts to lose someone you love, but... What if they're on a journey to something better ? Somewhere better. Think of death as a last flight to the unknown. It's thrilling. It's an adventure. It isn't finite, and it doesn't make one's existence end. She still lives somewhere else. In your heart. In your mind. In your dreams."

You softly kiss the hand you hold between yours for a while now.

"You love her and that's what will help her take off peacefully. Promise me you'll love me until my last flight."

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truth is i'm not better but i can't not update, it's not fair to you guys