The Dark of You (GxG)

31. Can I come with you?

I stepped out of my apartment to only be met by Rylan, who has a bag over her shoulder. 

"Where are you going?" I asked, confused as she hasn't told me anything about leaving. 

"I'm going home for a week," She said and my eyes widened. 

"You don't have to worry, Mario will take over for me," Rylan smiled, but it was not why I reacted badly. Since we came back from my grandmother two weeks ago, Rylan has been distant and quieter than usual. I would have at least expected a heads up about her being gone for a week. 

"So you were just going to leave and not say anything?" I asked as I placed my hands on my hips. 

"It's nothing to worry about. Mario has got it covered," She said and turned to walk down the hallway.

"That's not what I meant, Rylan and you know that," I snapped and she stopped in her tracks to face me again. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked and my voice exposed hurt, which surprised me. Rylan walked back to me and tilted her head. 

"I'm sorry, but I didn't think that was needed," She said and I clenched my jaw tightly to control the anger because she is right. Technically she doesn't have to tell me, yet my trust in her seemed to have demanded it. What am I doing? I don't have any right to be angry. Rylan doesn't owe me anything. She's a person of free will and I do not own her. Yet, somehow, somewhere in me I act as she does. 

"No, it's fine," I tried to find a smile deep inside of me, but it didn't want to show. 

"I'll be back," She said and I avoided her eyes while I nodded.

"Can I come with you?" The words had left my mouth before my mind went through the thought. Why did I say that? Rylan's eyes widened as her lips parted. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that," I blushed profusely as I clutched the door handle. 

"I'll see you in a week," I rushed back into my apartment, closed the door and leaned against it to let out a breath. I am such an idiot. Well, done Hadley, you've won the trophy for the biggest fool of the century. A soft knock on the door made me close my eyes. I really do not want to face Rylan right.

"Hadley," Rylan said my name so softly that my jaw clenched as I placed my hands over my face. I let out an embarrassed breath to let the tension vanish from my shoulders. Slowly I turned the door handle and opened it up for Rylan. 

"Are you okay?" She asked, concerned and I nodded as I'm scared I would say something wrong again. For a moment, she only stood in front of me in silence. I'm not sure if she expected me to say or do something. 

"If you really want to, then you can come along, but I'm driving up to Vermont. It will take hours," She explained and my lips parted in surprise. I didn't ever expect her to invite me along with her. 

"I'll talk to Mario and you'll pack?" She said and I nodded rapidly with happiness. 

"Warm clothes," Rylan said as I crossed my apartment. 

***

"Why couldn't we just take the plane?" I groaned with boredom as I leaned my forehead against the window of Rylan's car.  We have been on the road for a couple of hours and the silence has become frustrating. I should probably have thought through this situation a bit more. To be in the car with Rylan for hours should probably alone have been a warning sign. How can someone be so quiet? I don't get it. I have tried to pick up a conversation almost twenty times already and she always gives such a short reply that it won't go anywhere. 

"Because I was supposed to go alone," She replied and it was as if my heart dropped down to my belly. 

"If you didn't want me to come along, you could just have said it," I told her as I leaned my forehead back onto the window to stare up at the clouds that thought it was a good idea to bring on the rain. 

"I didn't mean it like that, Hadley," She sighed in annoyance. 

"It's," She stopped herself, which caught my attention. I turned in my seat to look at Rylan, who seems to search through her mind for words. 

"I prefer my own company and to have you here kind of turned my mind upside down," She finally said. 

"Is my company that bad?" I raised my eyebrow and she peeked at me for a few seconds as she considered her answer carefully, almost as if she was treading onto a minefield.

"No," She only said and I smiled to myself that she dared to admit that to me. I know Rylan keeps people at a distance, yet sometimes I feel like I'm pulled one step closer almost every day. I'm still miles away from where I wish to be, but I know she will shut down all her borders if I walk too fast. 

"Thank you," I faced her and confusion was written over her face. 

"For what?" She asked. 

"For bringing me along," I smiled warmly. 

"I do not get much involvement in people's lives and it's nice to be in yours," I explained and she turned to me, practically stunned. It's a look I have never seen on her face before.  She bit her inner cheeks and faced the road again. Silence once again fell over us and this time, I didn't mind as thoughts raced through my mind. Maybe this is why Rylan is so quiet. She is lost in her head a lot. What she is thinking about, though, I wish I knew.