The Dark of You (GxG)

43. Did it often happen before?

Rylan's mouth is slightly parted as she breathes slowly in and out. Her eyes closed and her mind gone from this world. It takes every strength in me not to push those few blond strands of hair away as they lay over her high cheekbones. I backed away as her eyes snapped open and she looked around, disoriented. 

"Hey," I laid my hand on her cheek and her extended eyes landed on me. 

"Hey," She cleared her throat and then relaxed as if the danger was over. Most of the night, she was quiet. Perhaps a few twitches, but she never woke up. Yet those blue spots underneath her eyes haven't faded away. I wonder how much sleep she would need to be able to make them vanish. 

"Who was Keeley to you?" I asked the question that never wanted to leave my mind and now that I spoke it, I realized how very insensitive it was of me. However, Rylan didn't seem to have taken it too badly as she let out a long breath. 

"Keeley and I were on the same team for years. We knew each other's back better than anyone. I would say she was the closest to a friend that I have had," Rylan shrugged unsurely and I couldn't stop my hand from touching her cheek as a comfort. Whether it's for her or me, I'm not sure. I can't imagine myself ever to end someone's life.

"Is that what you dream about each night?" I asked carefully as though I knew I might be treading on thin ice. Rylan looked down as she nodded. I clenched my jaw tightly as I couldn't believe what she suffered through—an endless loop of witnessing her most traumatic experience over and over again. 

"Did you ever get professional help?" I wondered and she started to thug onto the edge of the sheet. 

"I," Rylan stopped as if she was reconsidering her words. 

"I did, but I didn't want help," She swallowed and I pressed my lips together as it didn't surprise me.  

"I just want to forget about it," 

"It doesn't work that way," I responded and her jaw tensed as she watched me now with pain written all over her face. 

"I know it's easier now just to wipe it underneath the carpet, but you will continue to pile it up until you explode, Rylan," I told her and she bit her lip in discomfort. 

"You need to get some help," I recommended, but my words ricocheted right of her as she slipped out of bed.

"I need a shower," She left for the bathroom and closed the door behind her as if that was the end of our conversation. With a loud sigh, I laid back down in bed and closed my eyes. I know I shouldn't push her, but at the same time, she needs a helping hand. 

I decided not to wait for Rylan to come back out of the bathroom and instead I found myself upstairs. Most of Rylan's siblings left this morning as we are leaving today as well. The only one left is Lola, of course. Yet, the hangover from Rylan's outburst seems to have affected her as much as her mother. Dark spots underneath their eyes are clearly shown as they both lay spread on a couch. 

"Did it often happen before?" I asked to break the silence, but they both seemed confused by my question. 

"Rylan having an episode?" I clarified and Shantelle sat up straight in her seat as she let the question sink in. 

"Not like this, no, but we often found her wandering around the house at night, having flashes. She never spoke about them, though," Shantelle explained.

"Sometimes she said a few words," Lola added.

"But never an explanation," She shrugged. 

"She would also sometimes lose sight of reality," Lola stared up in the air.

"Rylan could be violent. We should probably have told you that before, but it's hard to do it since it's not our thing to say," Lola smiled apologetically.

"It's one of the reasons we won't touch her once she is lost in one of her flashes. I learned that the hard way," Lola rolled her eyes off herself. 

"It's been a while since she's been this bad and I'm almost certain she will be back on track in a few days," She offered a smile, but it didn't ease my mind.

"And if it doesn't?" I asked and they both pressed their lips together as they locked eyes with one and another. 

"I'll give you my phone number, Hadley. Call me if something is wrong, okay?" Shantelle said worriedly. I guess I'm not the only one that is uneasy with Rylan's state of mind at the moment. 

"Thank you," I smiled and she gave one in return. It's nice to know that I can contact her if something is wrong, but I don't know how I stand with my father on this. Should I tell Mario or should I keep it quiet for now and see if it'll pass. It's not really my responsibility. If anything It's Rylan's and Mario's. I suppose they do know about her issues. 

For now, I'll keep my mouth shut.