'It wasn't all that you thought it was!' ~ Alex Turner Fanfiction

2013: Part 7

"Jaz wait!" As I thought.....it's none other than Alex....I didn't want to talk so I just carried on walking to the train station in the hopes that there is already a train there, "Jasmine come on!". I started walking faster as Alex got closer, "Please Jasmine!" Alex grabbed my hand to stop me going anywhere.

"What Alex....I have a train to get!" I shouted at Alex yanking my hand out of his grip.

"Did you mean it?" Alex whispered and he sounded upset which just made me feel guilty.

"You know I didn't.....I just.....!" I was about to say that Arielle scared me...because I mean have you seen her...any girl would be jealous of her....she's funny, she's smart, a people person and she's stunning....I know that may sound pathetic but......I could never compete with her....n...not that I want to though because I have a girlfriend I just mean it as far as...I'm overweight with serious anger issues and I push everyone away.

"You what?" Alex tried to look me in the eyes but I kept looking away...I tried to shake it off and walk away but Alex stopped me again, "Come Jasmine, you can trust me you know this!" Alex put his hand under my chin and turned my face to look at him, "You can tell me anything...I will never...ever judge you!" Alex looked at me with pleading eyes.

"I can't tell you.....I just can't! Now please let me go...I'd really rather not miss my train!" I walked away and he doesn't even try to stop me....thank god!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I felt bad about what I said but also.....Matt knew what he was asking...he knew about what happened and he still asked anyway and Samantha broke up with me two days after......something about..."You love Alex...you can see it your eyes and I don't want you just use me so you won't accept the fact you want him!"...I get she was scared..but he has a girlfriend for crying out loud and I am not a homewrecker....I don't want to be the reason Alex breaks Arielle's heart....what's worse about it though.....Samantha wasn't wrong. I still love Alex.

I couldn't help it....I just think I'm not good at relationships....I can't keep one....I never have....any relationship for that matter...I can't keep a good relationship with Matt or Alex.....I always end up being the reason people break up with me.........I don't know why I bother anymore.

I should just move to the desert and befriend all the Cacti and the sand....Yes that's a smart idea....When Luke leaves I will go and pack and just leave.

"Please can we not have a repeat of the last time Jaz!" Luke whined.

"We won't!" I mumbled in response.

"Jasmine you're mopin' round the house......this is a repeat of last time!" Luke raised his voice.

"THAT'S NOT WHY I'M MOPING AROUND!" I shouted at Luke...honestly what is wrong with me at the moment...I'm shouting at everyone for no reason.

"Then why Jasmine...why are you so depressed!" Luke asked, grabbing me by the shoulders.

"Sam broke up with me because she didn't want me using her......using her because I don't want to accept I like someone else!" I choked back tears.

"Alex!" Luke stated.

"What?" I questioned....how did he...

"Sam told me.......She spoke to me after it happened..I just didn't want to bring it up....you should tell Matt and Alex....that you guys aren't together!" Luke calmly replied.

"Yes let me tell the person, who has a girlfriend, that he's the reason my girlfriend broke up with me!" I replied sarcastically.

"Just don't tell him that!" Luke rolled his eyes.