Cats The Musical: New Kittens! Book 1

Mr Mistoffelees

Rum Tum Tugger:
You ought to ask magical Mr Mistoffelees
The original conjuring cat
There can be no doubt about that
Please listen to me and don't scoff
All his inventions are off his own bat

Rum Tum Tugger:
There's no such cat in the metropolis
He holds all the patent monopolies
For performing surprising illusions
And creating eccentric confusions

Rum Tum Tugger:
The greatest magicians have something to learn
From Mr Mistoffelees' Conjuring Turn!

Tugger:
And we all say
Oh! Well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as
Magical Mr Mistoffelees?"

Tugger:
He is quiet, he is small, he is black
From his ears to the tip of his tail

Aelina played with her father's tail.

Tugger:
He can creep through the tiniest crack

Aelina let out a squeak.

Tugger:
He can walk on the narrowest rail

Aelina paced back and forth.

Tugger:
He can pick any card from a pack
He is equally cunning with dice
He is always deceiving you into believing
That he's only hunting for mice

He can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste

Aelina grinned happily at the word 'Fish paste'.

Tugger:
If you look for a knife or a fork
And you think it is merely misplaced
You have seen it one moment,
And then it is gone!
But you'll find it next week
Lying out on the lawn

And we all say

Jellicles:
Oh! Well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as
Magical Mr Mistoffelees?

Mistoffelees:
Presto!

Jellicles:
Oh! Well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as
Magical Mr Mistoffelees?

(chorus is repeated several times)

Rum Tum Tugger:
His manner is vague and aloof
You would think there was nobody shyer
But his voice has been heard on the roof
When he was curled up by the fire

And he's sometimes been heard by the fire
When he was about on the roof
At least, we all heard that somebody purred
Which is incontestable proof

Of his singular magical powers
And I've known the family to call
Him in from the garden for hours
While he was asleep in the hall

And, not long ago, this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat!

Old Deuteronomy appeared and looked startled.

Rum Tum Tugger:
And we all say,
Oh! Well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as
Magical Mr Mistoffelees?

Tugger nuzzled his father, and looked at Mistoffelees.

Jellicles:
Oh! Well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as
Magical Mr Mistoffelees?

Rum Tum Tugger lifted up his mate, Bombalurina and kissed her cheek.

Aelina looked up at them and nuzzled Carbucketty, and sang with the others.

Jellylorum looked at Asparagus, "Lets see where Cassandra went." She smiled at her mate.
"There she is!" Her mate gasped.

The slender queen bowed to Old Deuteronomy.

Mistoffelees picked up his daughter, kissing her on the head before placing her down. Victoria nuzzled her mate and smiled as she watched him go.

(chorus is repeated several times)

Rum Tum Tugger:
Ladies and Gentlemen,
I give you:
The magical,
The marvellous,
Mr Mistoffelees!

Mistoffelees jumped into the air and vanished.

*POOF!*