what kind of future

4 : c o n f e s s i o n

Every day, Jihoon would wait for Seungcheol over the shade of an old and large oak tree every day that overlooks the bus station Seungcheol usually goes off to. When it rains, he would take shelter over a waiting shed and awaits for him to come. Every single day that he waits, every single day Seungcheol comes to him, with a smile on his face and a longing look in his eyes. He remembered how Seungcheol would fasten the pace of his walk to go over to where Jihoon is and said with a weary smile a small, "Hi."

Jihoon remembered how the weeks of daily coffee and taking him back to his house became months. He, sometimes, refused for Seungcheol to walk him back to his house knowing he was tired from his corporate job. Every chance he said that he would always get declined. Time went by so fast but Jihoon's racing heart was faster. He was afraid that maybe he doesn't really like Seungcheol and was just having palpitations from too much coffee every day but he was dead wrong.

Jihoon remembered how every time he sees Seungcheol walking towards him after a day of long work with a smile, whether it was a weary one from work or a genuine one from the heart. Jihoon remembered how he would gladly accept it and keep it in his mind. Along with the part where Seungcheol asks for his heart. It was engraved in both his mind and heart and it still is.

Jihoon remembered how beautiful that night was. It has been raining for days before that night but he remembered how the night sky was clear, no gray clouds insight, only the shining stars, and the yellow-ish crescent moon was present. It wasn't chilly, unlike the other nights they walked to. The air's breeze was refreshing and quite warm, the cold doesn't pierce through his jacket or shirt anymore which made him enjoyed that night even more. Jihoon's hands were swaying a bit as they walk, but he froze a bit when he felt Seungcheol's hand on his.

Jihoon remembered the blush creeping unto Seungcheol's cheeks and how he could still manage to give him a smile after he held onto his hand. Seungcheol's sneaky excuse to hold his hand still makes him laugh a bit, saying:

"I don't want to get your hand too cold from the night's breeze."

Even when Jihoon felt his palms sweat as they walked together, Seungcheol never let go.

He wished he never let go.

Jihoon remembered how that night was one of the most magical nights with Seungcheol. After all, it was the night that started the relationship he cherishes the most.

Jihoon at that time was fidgeting through his pocket to find the keys for his apartment.

"Ji." He heard Seungcheol called out his name. He could only hum in response as he tries to put the key on the key hole. Jihoon remembered how frustrated he was because his stupid door won't budge open. Seungcheol turned him around and Jihoon was worried that time because Seungcheol was looking unwell and fidgety, however, before he could even say anything he was pulled into an embrace.

Jihoon was left surprised due to the sudden embrace that he could only stutter Seungcheol's name as he calls out to him.

"Ch-Cheol." Jihoon could feel his own heart beating so fast that time that Seungcheol could actually feel it yet at the same time he could feel Seungcheol's heart beating as fast as his, as well.

"Ji. Let me just say some things I've been thinking of for the past few days." He stopped for a while and seemed to be recollecting himself. Jihoon even heard him whispering, 'I can do this.' to himself.

"I don't know how long it has been since I started feeling this way for you. I didn't know if it was the day I started wanting to meet up with you for coffee everyday or the day you told me you love 'Die Hard'. I, honestly, don't know, Ji."

"But what I do know is when we separate our ways, my heart feels lonely when I see you walking away from me. My heart aches a little when you bid me your soft farewells and to be honest, I kept finding myself excited to go out from work when the clock strikes four. I didn't before since, I have nothing to do at home but to keep tabs on my work. However, I keep finding myself on the bus station with a smile on my face, feeling giddy because I get to see you again today."

"I, always feel so tired from work everyday before I met you but whenever I see you waiting for me and smiling at me, why does everything seemed to fade away? I don't know if any of this makes sense but for me it does." He removed himself from the hug and stared at Jihoon's eyes.

"I don't know really because you might find me talking about this all gibberish but I practiced saying everything to you in my head the whole day yet here I am just blabbering things." Seungcheol said.

Jihoon remembered staring at Seungcheol whose face was as red as a tomato and he couldn't help but smile at the awkward confessing man in front of him.

"I like you, Ji... so much." He said staring at his eyes, "and I want to ask you out, if that's okay with you. Do you.. also feel the same way as I do?" He said as he looked down at their intertwined hands.

Jihoon remembered how he was undeniably happy with that confession. His racing heart a while ago was beating much more rapidly. He lightly squeeze his hand on his to give him a reassuring smile.

"Cheol, when I wake up, I feel giddy and excited from your good morning messages. Every day, I think about what you could be doing on mornings and what you've been having for your breakfast, lunch or dinner. When we meet in the afternoons, I still feel my heart become nervous when I see you and I thought, it would go away soon but it didn't. I have never felt this way before and I thought things like this just happens to dramas or stories were just over reacting when depicting things like this but it isn't. They weren't over reacting, it really do happpens and it's happening when I'm with you. I like you, Cheol. More than words could say."

Jihoon remembered how Seungcheol kissed him that night. He remembered how Seunghceol captured his lips on his and how as they touched a spark of electricity was present. The spark was also there the next time they kissed and the next times after that.