what kind of future

1 4 : u s b u t d i f f e r e n t

Days passed, Seungcheol lives with him still. However, they don't talk to each other. They don't share the same bed anymore. They don't eat at the same time anymore. They don't do anything together anymore.

Seungcheol would leave early in the morning and be back late at night. Jihoon would wake up early in the morning to hear Seung Cheol shuffling around the house. He would hear him enter his room, gathering clothes he'll need for the day. He would feel Seungcheol sat by his laying figure and touch his hair, saying sorry every single day that has passed.

He would wait for Seungcheol every evening to come home. He would cook him dinner every single night but every morning after he left, he'd find the food he cooked for him in the fridge and he would only sob every day and every night.

Until Seungcheol tried talking to him again. It was a Saturday at that time and Seungcheol didn't leave the house. He was there, cooking breakfast for them. When Jihoon stepped out of their room, he saw Seungcheol gave him a small smile.

"Let's eat." He said with a smile. Jihoon, tired from crying all night, sat down on the table with Seungcheol. He served him his favorite meal and he smiled bitterly at him.

"Thank you." He whispered enough for Seungcheol to hear.

"Eat up before it gets cold." He did as he was told and upon taking a bite from the seasoned rice Cheol made, he started tearing up.

He felt his tears slide down his face and there he sobbed again. He roughly removed the falling tears from his face and started eating again but they just won't stop. Until all he did was just cry at the table with Seungcheol cradling him in his arms, repetitively apologizing.

He couldn't stand just by Seungcheol's touch that he struggles to remove his hold of him. He ran towards their room again, locking the door in the process. He slid down to the floor crying. He heard Seung Cheol knocking on his door, but he didn't mind it. He couldn't even stand the sight of Seungcheol. He would always fall on his knees, crying just by the sight of him.

The whole day he stayed in his room, every once in a while, Seungcheol would knock on his door reminding him to eat but even the appetite to eat was nowhere to be found in his system. He just lay there in his bed, staring out of nowhere with tears in his eyes and dried tear stains present on his cheeks and on the side of his eyes.

He was tired of crying... hurting but he couldn't stop his heart from aching so much that it hurts him so much.

He never thought that Seungcheol of all people would hurt him like this. He didn't expect it to hurt like this.

He heard another soft knock on his door.

"Ji. It's already 8 o'clock. You should eat even just a little bit." Seungcheol said through the door.

"I know. you're hurting because of me, and I'm sorry, Ji. I really am. I won't get tired of saying it because this is what I really feel. I can't lie to myself, Ji. You know that. So please."

More tears formed in his eyes, and it pains him that Seungcheol's was just too honest with him. He wished Seungcheol just lied to his face that he still loves him. even for just a while but he didn't. He hated him for knowing how he really feels, and he hated him for growing into someone who handles himself honestly.

Seungcheol taking the silence as an answer for no left the door unguarded and leave Jihoon be with his feelings.