When he got to Seungkwan's cafe, it was crowded as usual. Lots of aspiring artists and musicians came here to sing than before. It was his first time to see the open mic house cafe of Seungkwan again and he was happy that more people are taking a liking to it too.
He saw Seungkwan, Seokmin, and Hansol talking in the bar so he went to where they were and the three could not contain their happiness to see Jihoon again. Seungkwan scheduled Jihoon's singing at 8 so they would have a long time to talk still.
"I can't stay long, though. The last bus for tonight leaves at 9 so I would have to go."
"That soon?" Seungkwan frowned and Jihoon couldn't help but nod with a frown on his face too.
He hugged Seungkwan to comfort him and the next thing he knew, he's being squished by the three.
"I promise to visit you, guys, okay?" They nodded and removed themselves from the hug.
"Can we, at least, take you to the bus station?" Seungkwan asked with teary eyes.
"No. I don't want to see you, guys, cry. It would be much harder for me to leave." They nodded as a response and came back to hugging Jihoon again. They'd really miss him, and he would miss them too. so much.
There was still time before Jihoon could sing so they took the time to talk about random things and would just laugh and joke about things. Until Seungkwan announced that it was his turn.
Jihoon didn't know why but he felt nervous. This was the first time in a year and a half that he gets to sing on a stage again, where people could see him, and he somehow feels timid. When he set foot on stage and sat on the chair, he gave the crowd first a wave of glance and a smile before talking.
"Hi. I'm Lee Jihoon. I'm a singer-composer." He heard a loud yell from his friends, and he laughed it off. "This is my first time in a year and a half I think, to set foot in this small stage to sing and I'm feeling kind of nervous."
"Tonight, I'll be singing a song that I wrote when I was still in the darkest time of my life. I wrote this for myself and for my ex-boyfriend, who left me." He heard the audience boo when he said that, and he laughed. "It's okay, folks. I'll be over him... soon."
"This is what kind of future by yours truly dedicated to the man who broke my heart. I promised myself that if I cried singing this song. It would be the last tears I shed for him." He said before playing. The audience awed in response.
"As if nothing happened
I told myself that this is all just a dream
When I close my eyes and open them again
I wanted to wake up in relief
Our future didn't line up
If I can go back in time
Rather than roughly, but warmly
Would I be able to let you go? "
Jihoon thought of the times when he and Seungcheol would just lay together in bed all day. Telling each other stories they've told before.
Listening to music together as they try to find the song that would fit as they get married.
Watching romantic comedy movies together that they enjoyed mocking for their cliché twists and expected scenarios.
"When we weren't over
As I held onto whatever was left
You let go of me as I refused
Although I don't want to see you, I miss you
Although I hate you, I miss you
I don't understand myself as well
Our future didn't line up
If I can go back in time
Rather than roughly, but warmly
Would I be able to let you go?"
From the crowd, Jihoon thought he saw it wrongly and that he was just hallucinating because of this song but as he blinks a few more. His eyes weren't deceiving him.
There at the back of the crowd was Seungcheol looking at him with a smile.
Why did he think that this was some cliché scenes from a movie?
He felt his eyes water and he was praying to the heavens above that it doesn't fall because if it does. This would be the last time he'd cry and he's afraid that he won't be able to keep that promise to himself.
"When we weren't over
As I held onto whatever was left
You let go of me as I refused
Although I don't want to see you, I miss you
Although I hate you, I miss you
I don't understand myself as well
This waiting
It's not easy to endure
Our future that was forgotten at some point
And that I thought of it as nothing much can Only be futile and sad
It's not that I want to forget you."
As he sings this song from his heart, Seungcheol was still there, and he couldn't keep his eyes off of him. He misses him so much and he knew that this could probably be the last time he would see him.
He misses those eyes of Seungcheol just staring at his as they do a staring contest. He would always lose because he'd get so caught up with Seungcheol's beautiful eyes and he'd get lost in them too much that he didn't notice he already blinked.
He remembers how Seungcheol would excitedly jump up as he wins and kiss him in his cheeks.
He was the happiest back then, and the luckiest.
"We were happy when our conversing hearts were piled
You, who isn't with me anymore
Although I don't want to see you, I miss you
Although I hate you, I miss you
I don't understand myself as well
In the end, what kind of future will come to us?
Even if the heaven doesn't give us an answer
I am quite foolish, I realized I can't ever know
Ooh~ ooh~
Ooh~ ooh~ ooh~
Ooh~ ooh~
Ooh~ ooh~
Ooh~ ooh~ ooh~"
As he ended the song, he swore he saw Seungcheol smiling at him proudly as he clapped his hands after his song. It was his first time seeing him again and he missed him. He missed him terribly that he thought of running to him for just a single hug but Jihoon's eyes streamed tears more as he saw Seungcheol wave goodbye to him, leaving with the man he fell in love with.
He smiled genuinely with tears on his face as people continued to applaud him.
That was it then. That was the closure and reconciliation Seokmin was talking about.
Jihoon felt free.
He finally frees himself from the knot he tied himself into.
'Goodbye, Choi Seungcheol.'
YOU ARE READING
what kind of future
Fanficjicheol short story - inspired from jihoon's what kind of future
