Feelings

14: Anger

Monday's here. Time to face Zoe.

"Alex," I say as we near Southview.

"Yeah?"

Interrogation time. "Why didn't you answer any of my texts?"

Alex pushes the doors open harder than he should've. It swings to it's maximum and bangs against the wall. "Uhh, my phone was on Do Not Disturb."

"Do Not Disturb," I scoff, "since when do you turn on Do Not Disturb?"

"Since now." He doesn't see that covering up is useless. I'll get him to spill it either way.

"I know you and Zoe are working on something together. Something that involves me. I already know, so might as well tell me what it is."

Alex sighs. "I can't. Zoe would be pissed. Sorry, man."

Oh well. I can try asking Zoe. But considering the recent things that happened, I probably shouldn't. We make the normal stop at our lockers before heading to English. Alex heads to his new friends as usual and I sit next to Zoe. She won't even look at me.

"Zoe?"

No answer.

"Zoe."

Nope.

"Zoe."

Each time I ask I think she gets angrier, so I stop. Too bad Wren isn't here. I could be talking to her instead of talking to Zoe's back. No, I can't think that. In reality, Zoe is way more closer to me than Wren is. Zoe has been around for years. Wren, only days. I still hope Wren comes, or I'll be lonely.

"Thank you all for your presentations last week. Now, we'll start a book report..." He isn't even done yet and already people are complaining. I have to agree. You read books because you enjoy them, right? Not to analyze the hell out of it. "... and it'll be in partners again for this. Due Wednesday at the start of class."

Instinctively I lean over to ask Zoe, but I remember that I rejected her. Damn. Wren most likely won't show up today so I won't be able to partner up with her, either. Zoe gets up and heads to the group of sporty guys. What is she doing? She starts talking to Alex. She's partnering up with him, but he seems reluctant to. Once they sit, Zoe starts acting like how she would with me if she weren't angry at me. Her normal energetic self. Then Alex tells her something and she has a mix of annoyed and worried. She starts talking to him angrily until Mr. Tran blocks my vision. "No partner again?" he asks.

Looks like it. "Yeah. I'll do it by myself."

"Actually, there's also another student who doesn't have one." Mr. Tran steps back to reveal Amélie, looking meek. Oh crap. "Would you like to be partners?"

Well, you don't say no to a teacher. "Fine."

He leads Amélie towards me. "Alright then. I'll leave you two at it."

Amélie sits in Zoe's seat. "I am vraiment désolé. I hope you can forgive me for acting the way I did hier."

"It's fine. Anyways, you're the only friend I have right now. Zoe's angry at me, Wren isn't here and Alex is busy with his new friends." It's hard to stay mad at Amélie when you see how sorry she is.

Amélie squeezes her eyes shut for a few seconds. "We should work on the report. Je recommande this book I am reading." She pulls out a book from her bag that's in French:

INGÉNIERIE ÉLECTRIQUE 12e ANNÉE:
PLACEMENT AVANCÉ

"That's a textbook from your class, Amélie. That won't work," I point out.

She flips through some of the pages. "But it is très informatif."

Clueless. "Yes, but Mr. Tran will think you're cheating by using a schoolbook. Same thing he says about silent reading books."

"Je vois. Well then, we can do this." Amélie shows me a different book:

MERVILLES DE L'INGÉNIERIE DANS LE MONDE MODERNE

She does take her engineering stuff seriously. Isn't a schoolbook, at least. "Sure, that'll work."

"Great!"

Amélie does most of the work, which surprises me. When I'm in partners usually I'm the one who has to do most of the work. I'm reluctant to let her lead, despite trusting her. All I do is help her with the spelling of some words. "How is this?"

I look at the worksheet she has and so far, she's written almost a whole paragraph.

In French.

"Amélie, this is in French!"

"Oh, merde... Let me redo it."  Amélie starts to erase the whole thing. This is why I like to take control. So there won't be big mistakes like this.

I sigh. "Ok."

"Also, is it spelled A-C-Q-U-A-I-N-T-E-N-C-E?"

I think she spelled the letters in French so I'm not so sure if it's right. "You said A-C-Q-U-A-I-N-T-E-N-C-E?"

"Oui. Is that correct?"

"No, it's A-C-Q-U-A-I-N-T-A-N-C-E."

"Ah. Merci."

Amélie still finishes quick. While I'm checking it, I notice that she has pretty handwriting that's slanted a bit to the right, like she writes in permanent italics. "Is it good?"

"Yeah," I confirm.

"Bon." She takes out the textbook from earlier and starts reading. Then she puts it down. "Wait. Why is Zoe mad at you?"

Does she need to know? I don't think so. "Normal friend stuff. Don't worry about it."

*****

Zoe doesn't talk to me the entire day. It's dull without her enthusiasm around. Without Zoe, Alex or Wren, it's lonely at lunch again. In P.E. she tries to avoid me. She gets forced to walk next to me while we're heading out and there's still that angry look on her face. "Zoe, you know I still like Wren, so I can't. If I didn't, I'd totally go for being with you."

My last attempt doesn't work. Still no answer.

Che's waiting for Zoe at the parking lot and Che's arms are crossed. So she's mad at me as well? At least Alex is waiting for me at the waiting area. He's probably my best shot at finding out how Zoe really feels about me rejecting her.

"Did you know that Zoe liked me for five years?" I don't know if he knows.

"Yup. Since Grade Five. I remember being so pumped when-" He throws a hand over his mouth. "Oh fuuuuuu..."

I pounce on his slip-up. "When what?"

"We should keep going."

"Oh no no no no no no no. She told you, didn't she? That she likes me?"

Finally, he admits, "Yes. We've kept it a secret from you and even tried to get you two to become a thing. And I gotta say, Zoe's really hurt about you rejecting her. She even cried afterwards. Don't tell her I told you this. She'll kill me."

She cried over it? Now I feel really guilty about rejecting her. Years of crushing on someone must feel like a massive waste and really suck when they don't like you back. "Oh, well. Thanks for telling me."

Before he walks away, Alex asks one last thing, "Wait. You definitely still like Wren, right?"

"Yeah." Maybe he's going to tell Zoe.

He nods. "Ok. Bye"

"Bye."

I text and call Zoe again with the same result. Nothing. Probably best to leave her alone. I scroll through my contacts until I find Wren's account and call her. She might talk to me.