Feelings

18: Nervousness

Dad gets all pumped up again when I tell him what happened. We celebrate by eating this sponge cake that Dad only makes on special occasions. I'm talking really special occasions. I had no idea that me and Wren were that big of a deal to him. Zoe and Alex don't need to know. Zoe might cry again if I tell her or if I tell Alex and he tells her. I don't want to show off that Wren and I held hands, but I do want some recognition for it. Just a bit.

I'm stressed all over again.  It's the good kind, I hope. The kind that gets your body prepared for whatever will happen. "Today is the real big day, yeah?"

Thankfully the nervous level is less than last time, I have more focus.  "Hopefully."

Our eyes lock. "I'm really proud of you, Jae. This is a big step for you in a new direction. Whatever you need, I'll take care of it. Don't even worry about the time you get home. Just make it a great time. For and Wren. Ok?"

Desperate to get out of this super-serious moment, I break the eye contact. "Got it."

Dad even does all the chores I would've done.

I walk to Southview with Alex and it's hard to hide the anxiousness.  "Why are you so tense, man?"

"English test. No, wait-"

"There isn't any English test!" Alex scoffs. "Ok, it's my turn to grill you. Does it have something to do with Wren?"

How did he guess that? "How did you know?"

"I had basketball practice after school. I saw you and her running off, hand in hand." I didn't think anyone would see that. "You two are great together, no cap."

"Huh? What's 'no cap'?" I seriously have no idea. New slang words never made sense to me.

"Never mind. What I'm trying to say is that you and Wren are almost always together now," he explains.

Like what used to be me and Zoe. "Cool."

"So, what is happening between you guys?"

"We're having a..." Alex will flip if I say, 'a date'. "social gathering."

Alex still catches on. "A date. A date! I bet you have it all planned out. Tell me."

No escape now. "It was supposed to be yesterday, but Wren got into detention. We're going ice skating at the rink place." Actually, I also want to secretly kiss Wren afterwards if the mood is right, but Alex will die of hysteria if I tell him that too.

"Oh, you..." The noise of students is drowning out Alex's voice. I nod now and then so he thinks I can still hear him. It gets quieter when we're inside English class. "...goes, ok?"

"Wait, what?"

Alex gets pulled away by the sporty kids before he can answer. Zoe isn't here so I breath a sigh of relief. Don't have to feel too bad about what I did. Even better, Wren's here. She seems really nervous, too.

Wren smiles at me, sending a tingly feeling down my back. "Hi."

I don't even sit down before starting to talk. "Hi. You look really nervous."

"Yeah. First date, you know."

Oh, wow, she calls it a date, too. "Same."

Her voice lowers. "Will I do ok? I mean, I don't know if I'll mess up or something."

"Hey." My hand starts drifting to Wren's. I jam it in my pocket so I'm not doing anything in front of the whole class. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure everything will go great." Very great, in fact.

"Thanks."

I sit down next to Wren and take out my English stuff. My leg is shaking because it's actually happening today! Mr. Tran doesn't hand out any homework for the weekend and of course everyone's happy. Unlike yesterday, Geometry drags on and on.

"Is it just me, or is Geometry taking forever?"

I'm glad to get a break from math worksheets. "No, me too. How's the sport stuff?"

He grins. "Oh yeah. Awesome. We might even go to this sport camp thing during winter break."

"Winter? It's gonna be cold."

"Well, obviously we'll be indoors. You should come visit, you can see the stuff we do."

That'd be cool. "Sure."

Geometry ends after forever and we go to out usual lunch spot. Instead of Zoe there, it's Wren sitting on the concrete, exactly on my spot. I can hear Alex gasp. My brain is too stunned to make a noise.

He whispers in my ear. "Dude, is that Wren?"

"Yeah," I confirm.

"The girl you like."

"Yeah."

"The one that's cold to everybody."

"Mhm."

"The one you, are somehow going on a date with."

"Alex," I say. "Yes, it's Wren. Why are you suddenly freaking out?"

His uncomfortable shifting makes it clear. "You know, she's scary. Wren's strong. And tough."

Scary?

"Are you guys gonna stand there, or are you gonna come over?" Wren calls. I eagerly go over and sit down.

"Hi."

"Hey. Why's Alex still standing there?"

"He's scared of you," I point out.

Wren giggles. "Me? Well, I understand why'd he be scared by a super awesome boxer. Look, he's running away."

She's right. Alex did disappear. "Oh."

A lunch bag plops on the ground next to mine. "What do you have for lunch?" asks Wren.

What I have is nothing to be too proud of. "Kimbap."

"Oh, you're Korean?"

"Mhm." Kimbap is actually my favourite food, but I don't think that'll impress Wren.

Wren takes out a thermos. Once the lid comes off a wonderful smell fills the air. "I have this soup."

"That smells really good. What's in it?"

"I'm part Irish, my mom's side. Before Dad died," there's a moment of silence. "she taught me how to make this. A simple, traditional Irish dish. Just lamb, onion and potatoes. So sometimes I cook it for lunch."

I never know Wren was Irish! That explains her vibrant ginger hair. "It's so cool that you're Irish. Is that the only thing you know how to cook?" I ask.

Wren shakes her head. "The only Irish thing. I know some basic stuff too."

We keep talking as we eat. Even though I'll see Wren again at P.E., I still want to stay with her. Is that weird and creepy? My hand is shaky in Drawing and all my sketches are messed up.

Amélie looks at my sketches. "Tu es nerveux. Is it because of the date?"

She knows about the date? How? "I can tell. I know of this."

"What, you've been on a date?" That was accidentally mean.

"No. Mes parents have told be about their premier rendez-vous. How they said they were nervous is a lot like what you have now. It is with Wren, oui?"

The way Amélie rolled the "r" in Wren's name makes it sound nice. "Yeah."

"Bonne chance."

It's the same next class. P.E. is ok for me, like, most things we do I'm decent at. But today my average skills are off. Mr. Macleod doesn't notice.

Wren does, though. "Wow, you're really nervous, huh?"

"As if you aren't," I shoot back.

A smirk is all I get back. "Catch this." Her basketball hurtles towards me. I manage to catch it, but not before it slams into my stomach. That was a powerful throw. "Oops." Maybe I shouldn't have shot back.

All we do is practice shooting the ball into the hoop. We had to get into partners and me and Wren naturally partnered up. I'm not too good at basketball, and neither is Wren. Eventually class is over.

"See you later, Jae!" Wren waves.

I wave back. "Bye. eight o'clock?"

"Sure! See you at the ice rink!"