Goodbye l.s

Chapter 5

There's a knock at my door, but I don't wanna answer it. I let it be hoping the person would just leave. That's wasn't the case, they kept knocking over and over again. I remain ignoring it though.
"Harry!" I hear Zayn say as he enters my house.
"What the hell- how did you get in"
"Niall picked the lock"
"Oh okay well you can all come in I guess?"
"Cool!"
They all come in and join me on the couch. Louis and Zayn sit next to me and Niall and Liam sit on the other couch.
"Anyways we were all hanging out and got bored so we came over!" Niall says
Great to know that I'm just an option for when they're bored...
"K." I respond
"What's wrong Harry?" Zayn asks
"Nothing" I say before cuddling into Louis. God I was tired.
"He's probably tired" Liam says with a shrug.
"Let's play truth or dare!" Niall yells suddenly
"Okay let's"
"Truth or dare Louis" Niall starts.
"Truth"
"Okay hmmm have you ever had a crush on a band mate, if so who?"
Louis grows a shade of pink.
"Yes I have...but you only get one question so the other isn't being answered"
"Okay truth or dare Liam"
"Dare"
"I dare you to call your mum and tell her you spent 30k on a towel"
"Oh gosh"
Liam takes out his phone and calls his mum. He says exactly what I told him to. His mother was absolutely livid.
"MUM ITS A DARE IM SORRY!" He says before hanging up.
We all laugh a lot.
"Truth or dare Harold"
"Dare"
"Pay back timeeee"
Oh noooo
"I dare you to call your crush"
"Seriously?!!?"
"Yup"
"Okayyyyyy"
I decide on calling my ex instead of my actual crush simply because they can't know I like them.
"Hey" he says
"Hey I was told to call you as a dare"
"Fun! Remember that one time we played truth or dare and then you ended up almost phoning Louis?"
My face dropped. Shit.
"Yeah you were like so close to confessing your love for him it was cute"
Shit. shit. shit. Now everyone is staring at me. I hang up the phone and bolt to my bathroom. Fuck! My! Life!
"Harry...can I come in"
"No im using the toilet"
"Please Harry....don't do something stupid"
The door opens 10 minutes later and Louis comes in.
"Harry...."
"How did you get in?"
"Picked the lock."
"Haz...what did you do...."
"Nothing-"
"We both know you did something."
I look down at my lap which suddenly is very interesting. Louis comes over to me and hugs me.
"I promise I didn't do anything not this time..."
"Harry....did you really do what the person on that call said...."
"Yeah...."
"Did you actually mean it....like if you did phone me would you mean it?"
"Yes..."
"Do you still...?"
"Y-yes...."
"Then why didn't you call me for the dare?"
"Cus.....I guess I thought you'd hate me..."
"I'd never hate you Harry...I feel the same way..."
I look in his eyes to see if he was being truthful and he was. Wow! Okay then...
"Let's go back downstairs"
We head down and continue the game.
"Truth or dare niall"
"Dare"
"I dare you to down a bottle of vodka in one minute"
"Easy" he says as he walks to my fridge and grabs a bottle.
We set the timer and he downs the whole thing in less than a minute. We all applaud him.
"Truth or dare zayn"
"Hmmm dare"
"I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room"
Zayn looks kinda nervous.
"Come on it's not a big deal just go for it" Louis says
Zayn kisses me...omg! What just happened?!?! We pull away and I'm in shock.
"OKAY WAIT WHAT THE FUCK DUDE" Louis screams
"I-I'm sorry..." I say thinking he was yelling at me
"No hazza I'm not yelling at you...Don't apologize.."
"Oh okay..."
"ZAYN I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD! YOU KNOW I LIKE HIM!"
"OKAY WELL I WAS TOLD TO KISS THE HOTTEST PERSON IN THE ROOM SO I DID"
They argue for nearly an hour. Neither of them realizing that I left the room as soon as they started. It was bringing back memories I wish I didn't have. Oh god...I did this...it's my fault! God dammit! All I do is cause trouble. At this point I'm full on sobbing silently. Make it stop...make it stop...please. I haven't done this for a bit but I need to calm down. I go into the bathroom that is attached to my room and grab a small, hidden bag. I hold the silver object in my hand and press it harshly and deeply into my skin. It burns but I quickly get over it making five more cuts.
"HARRY! COME DOWN HERE!" I hear Niall yell panicked.
Oh god... Niall never panics...shit! I drop the blade and pull my sleeves down, quickly I run down stairs. Omg they were physically hurting each other... I freeze...I can't believe this. I started all of this it's my fault....
"Harry....." I hear Liam say concerned
"Yeah...?"
"Why are your sleeves turning red...?"
This is what I get for wearing a white long sleeve top. Everyone's eyes turn to me once again even Louis and Zayn who stop fighting. I stand completely still and silent. I'm paralyzed by fear my breath stops for a second and I'm not sure what to do in this moment.