"Get out," I say coldly in refusal.
"We want to help you!"
"NO YOU DONT!"
"YES WE DO! WE WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY!"
"WELL GUESS THE FUCK WHAT THERE ISNT ANYWAY TO FIX ALL THE GOD DAMN DAMAGE NOW SO GIVE UO WHEN YOU HAVE THE CHANCE!"
"WHAT DAMAGE HARRY?! TELL US WHAT THE DAMAGE IS AND WE CAN HELP!"
"NONE OF YOUR GOD DAMN BUSINESS!"
"Harry...please..."
"No fuck off..."
"YOU DONT GET TO JUST PUSH US AWAY!"
"OH! IM SURE YOU KNOW A LOT ABOUT THAT"
"JUST TALK TO US GOD DAMMIT!"
"NO!"
"THIS IS WHY WE ABANDONED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU USELESS BITCH!"
I freeze...did he really just...
"Wait...Harry please I didn't mean it..."
"I-it's f-fi-" I start to say but instead finishing my words I start sobbing.
"Oh Haz..." Zayn pulls me into a hug.
"I'm sorry," I try to solve the problem.
"Dont apologize just...tell us what's been going on...please"
"O-okay..."
With that we go into my living room and sit there. I start to feel a bit panicked...what if they think I'm disgusting....or weird...what if they think I'm a freak...
"Ready to explain Haz?"
"S-sure..."
"Well to start I was fucked up before the band even broke up anyways, but I was okay at hiding it. I remember wanting to be good enough for someone and failing to succeed and I couldn't seem to stop thinking and crying over them...so I worked hard and long to be better. To be enough. I started feeling like shit and getting overwhelmed easily, so I turned to harming myself...."
"Wait what!?" Liam interrupts.
"Who was it...the person you wanted validation from?" Louis questions
"I'd rather not say..."
"The band broke up and you guys kinda left me in the dust and it was really hard for me. I ended up in a relationship which...wasn't the best..."
"Why not?" Zayn questions
"He uhm...he got really a-angry when I didn't do what he wanted...he'd sometimes get violent...he uhm h-he forced me to do things that I didn't want..." I start to tear up.
"Haz..." zayn said concerned and pulling me into a hug once again.
"Wait...what kind of things...?" Louis questions
"S-sexual t-things" I start to sob once again.
"Haz that's awful... I'm so sorry you went through that alone" Louis says.
"I-it's fine I deserved it..."
"Nobody deserves that!"
"I d-did I'm just a dumb slut who deserves to die..." I sob.
"Harry listen you didn't deserve that!"
"He broke up with me and I was left alone again...o started starving and cutting more....and I got so much hate...then I was in another relationship which was also shitty because his friends were assholes who decided to argue about me with him a lot...and he broke up with me saying I was awful and deserved to die...that left me shattered...now I know I'm not capable of being loved...so then my mental illnesses got far worse..."
"Harry...what mental illnesses?"
"Depression, anxiety, anorexia, and slight ptsd..."
"Haz...why didn't you tell us?"
"I was embarrassed..."
"It's nothing to embarrassed about..."
"Then I tried five times to end it none of which were successful...then I got pushed back into the band...and then I thought things were getting better...but then you guys left again...even though Louis promised...and I was broken...I couldn't bare it anymore so I tried...you know..."
They all hug me tightly as if they never want to let go again.
"Haz...I love you..." Louis says.
"Love you too lou..." I respond wishing he meant it as more than a friend.
"Yeah we all love you Harry...if you ever feel the need to do anything call us...please" zayn says charismatically.
"Okay love you"
YOU ARE READING
Goodbye l.s
Teen FictionWhen Harry falls into mental disorders of all sorts nobody is there to save him. He's at his lowest when forced to come have a reunion with the boys. He's embarrassed about his issues and doesn't want the boys to worry. What happens when they find o...
