Darling [h.s]

53

Song For This Chapter:

Fine Line-Harry Styles

"Put a price on emotion
I'm looking for something to buy
You've got my devotion
But man, I can hate you sometimes"

------

Darlene's POV:

I'm trying with everything in me not to cry as we sit in the back of this damn uber on our way home.

It's fine, we're fine, we're gonna be alright.

I purposely lay my head on Harry's shoulder so he can't see the way my eyes are filling with tears, I can't get them to go away.

Why am I upset? Nothing has changed between us.

But maybe that's the issue.

The music that plays softly in the background is giving a small distraction to keep my mind from completely consuming me right now. I know if I wasn't drunk I wouldn't be this emotional, but I know if we weren't drunk we would've never had that conversation.

But it 'never happened' right? That's what Harry and I agreed on.

I need to get myself together before we get to his apartment which will be any minute now.

I've only cried in front of Harry once before tonight, I can't make this a regular thing. It isn't what either of us signed up for.

The conversation made reality hit me in the face, which is why I never wanted to begin thinking this way in the first place. It's like he placed me in a room and told me I can't leave, yet he left the door unlocked. I can leave whenever I want to because he won't just lock the door. But I like the room, I enjoying being in it. It brings me comfort, it makes me happy, it smells like vanilla and cedar.

It's so simple, why can't he just turn the lock.

Fuck, now tears are dangerously close to falling from my eyes. Why does my mind fill with such upsetting thoughts?

Blink them away Darlene.

The car comes to a halt, we've arrived at our destination. Shit.

Harry gets out first, holding the door open for me. I step out, looking down at the pavement, avoiding his eyes. I need to hide my face, along with all the emotions I'm feeling right now.

I begin walking inside, not even waiting for him. I can't give him the chance to look behind him and see my glossy eyes. He fully catches up to me when I'm pressing the button for the elevator, the doors immediately opening.

We haven't spoken since our conversation at the party. This isn't comfortable silence, this is painful silence, at least for me.

I have no idea how he's feeling right now. He seems fine, so shouldn't I be fine? I shouldn't be upset because we're fine.

I still keep my head down, the fact that my hair is pulled back is not helping me right now. I have no way to shield my face. I'm trying to blink the tears back, but my eyes keep filling over and over again.

He's gonna know something is up if I'm not walking anymore and I'm still staring at the ground. So once we're inside, I turn into him hiding my face in his chest, like I've done many times before. With no words spoken between us, his arms wrap around me as one of his hands rubs up and down my arm.