Darling [h.s]

79

Song For This Chapter:

Oceans-Seafret

"And I want you

From somewhere withinIt feels like there's oceans
Between me and you once again"

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Darlene's POV:

Harry and I didn't talk to each other for the rest of the night, neither of us reached out. I told him not to me until he figures out the reason he's doing this. I can't find it for him. I'm just surprised he didn't try and call or text me despite me saying that. He actually listened.

As if this situation couldn't get any worse, we have astronomy today. So that's going to be interesting to say the least.

I could barely sleep last night, mulling over everything in my head. I calmed down enough to at least walk to my room. My body was tired, my brain was tired yet I still couldn't drift off.

I hate the part where the guilt begins to sink in. Where you question if you were just being dramatic, scolding yourself for things you said or did. 

Maybe I shouldn't have been that angry. Maybe if I explained it in a different way he would've understood. Maybe if I didn't get upset over him ignoring me he wouldn't have been as mad. Should I have kicked him out? Did I just make it worse? Did everything I do push him away? 

But then you have your brain hitting you with every single reason why you weren't being dramatic at all.

He ignored me. Never planned to tell his friends about us. Blamed me for Louis actions. He's hiding the truth cause he clearly still cares about his reputation in the frat more than he lets on. Made me feel like an inconvenience. Didn't even acknowledge that he wasn't the only person affected by the situation, even if they were different ways. 

He sounded regretful of our entire relationship. 

'This whole dating thing is off to a great fucking start huh?'

The statement rang through my head all night. All fucking night. 

I have so many emotions going on right now. I'm hurt, angry, stressed, scared.

I'm scared the absolute whirlwind of emotions is going to cause me to shut down. At this point though the ball is in his court. 

The fact I have to see Louis too is the icing on the cake. It's the first class today, the one I'm currently walking to actually. But what a great way to start off my day. How the hell am I the one who got caught in the crossfire?

There's that part of me that hopes for some reason Louis doesn't come to school today, actually that him and Harry don't. 

Once I'm seated I refuse to look at the entrance, I don't want to see him walk in if he does. Maybe if I don't look at him he'll just sit somewhere else. Him and I have a lot to talk about but I'm not doing it at 8am before our lecture.

I pull out my phone to pass the time as I wait for class to begin and I'm surprised to see text notifications on my screen.